I am taking the day off. I am not buying milk or making yogurt. I am not going to visit my parents or buy gasoline. I am not going to test-drive my son’s car to see what is making that grinding sound. I may not leave my room. I am looking, finally, after years of both introspection and public expression, for my voice. THE THING IS, maybe it’s time to withdraw and write my autobiography in the form of a …
I was yelling at my Siri the other day, when I thought of Cormac McCarthy. Not long ago, during the filming of the adaptation of his Pulitzer Prize-winning novel, The Road, the world-renowned author was asked by the Wall Street Journal, “What kind of things make you worry?” His reply? “If you think about some of the things that are being talked about by thoughtful, intelligent scientists, you realize that in 100 years the human race won't even be recognizable. …
A month from now, on Tuesday, March 20, 2012, local voters will face the first of two elections that will have a clear opportunity to have a historical impact. In effect, the revolution, previously televised in Madison, Wisconsin last year and by the Occupy movements this year, is coming to town. Due to our new Illinois Congressional District 13, created by the Democrats’ control of 2010 redistricting, our new local district’s congressional race represents the “best chance” that the State …
As was widely reported late last week, and has been known locally for years, the Illini Media Company (IMC) is in dire financial straits. They currently owe at least $250,000 to the News-Gazette (for printing costs) and are late on their mortgage payments. The Daily Illini has been a part of the Champaign-Urbana community for over 141 years. Throughout these years, it has proven a worthy training ground for many great journalists, including Roger Ebert, Hugh Hefner, Will Leitch, and many …
A couple years ago I watched Wayne Coyne from The Flaming Lips hug EPA Administrator Lisa Jackson with his psychedelically proportioned, giant foam hands—one of many freak props familiar to anyone who has seen The Lips in the last ten years. It was a free Earth Day concert on the lawn of the National Mall. Perhaps the event represented less of a demonstration of mass conscientiousness, and more of an opportunity for people to openly drink wine and smoke weed …
Hey, remember when ethanol and biodiesel seemed like a good idea, and not just a way for scam artists to make a quick buck? Yeah, me too. In 2007, I heard the siren call of the burgeoning boom, and left a fairly stable job at a soybean processing plant in Council Bluffs, Iowa, to join a consulting engineering firm in Champaign. I thought I was getting into a rapidly-growing business at exactly the right time, but in reality, the wheels …
On the University of Illinois campus, the gorgeous, historic building Altgeld Hall (1897) — located right behind the iconic Alma Mater statue — contains more than one gem. In addition to the university’s only authentic bell tower, the one-time university library building contains campustown’s central post office, the University Station. Campustown has only one other, less centrally-located, post office — located on Third and Green: Station A. The Postal Service is threatening to close both of these stations. Doing so …
President Hogan: In accepting your position here at the University of Illinois, you were no doubt aware of the myriad difficulties that would confront your office. A stagnating economy, a State with long-standing budget issues, a University with insufficient funds and a backlog of needs, and an administration rebuilding on the heels of an administrative scandal. By no means was this position going be without its challenges. Your experience with turning around other universities that faced financial hardship, like that …
I want Mitt Romney to become president; and I want him to privatize love. I don’t mean the way pimps and Hallmark stores privatize “love.” I am talking about, once and for all, allowing free enterprise to quantify the monetary value of my heart. Clearly, the current supply of love in the world does not meet demand. (That’s even taking into consideration the potentially market-manipulating love hoarders like Benny Hinn, and Usher.) Therefore, I see an embarrassingly untapped opportunity for …
Leaving work the other day, I walked past a $90,000 sports car — a car that seemed wholly out of place given where I work. It's no Fortune 500 company, and it's not a governor's mansion or high-priced resort either. But the car was in the “visitor” parking, which somehow made a bit more sense. While the car caught my eye initially for seeming out of place, the choice of personalized license plate was even more jolting — an homage …
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hey, if hair ain’t gon’ be over your head, my jokes may as well be.
Okay, almost 24 hours later and I finally got Issac’s Summer joke. I’m an idiot.
Swap the dog for a fire pit and it sounds like you’re writing about my back yard. Very nice.
funny, as your summer begins, another Summer ends.
And that, my friend, is love. Bob, I think I still owe you for my wedding cake, served in 1998. But nevermind.
I believe the kiss between Rob and I was documented on low-quality videotape in the mid-ninties porn classic, Dirty Harry…and Sticky.
“Do I have to sign some forms, or am I just considered ‘in.’” You’re in!
Got damn, Coulter. You are the greatest.
I have no specific memory of it, but I wouldn’t be surprised if I’d kissed Mike, too—once we’d both drunk ourselves gay. And earlier this week I gave Clarence Shelley a back rub. Do I have to sign some forms, or am I just considered “in.”
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Looking forward to trying this place!
I’m in the middle (or the beginning or end, depending on how you look at it) of re-reading Slaughterhouse Five. What a great companion column.
Get yours early. The Rave’s CD will be available at Exile and at The C-U Flea on Saturday. C-U Flea details here: http://www.smilepolitely.com/news/sp_radio_podcast_c-u_flea_arrives/
I don’t know about Gerard and a random police sargeant. My (mild) outrage is based on this: “...he worked closely with Champaign City Clerk Marilyn Banks to make sure he was licensed properly as a transient food peddler, filling out the necessary paperwork and paying a $225…
Local Yocal pretty much nails it here. I suspect there will be merchants who oppose food trucks because they arguably don’t pay their fair share to locate their trucks in high traffic (high rent) areas. The food trucks take away business from rent payers, park in city…
Oh nice! I’d totally vote for Matt Campbell!
“Smile Politely sports writer announces candidacy for city government.”
I also got to visit Big Grove Tavern during the soft open and definitely enjoyed the pork belly the most of all the dishes I sampled. The cheesy grits and the vinegary pickled vegetables were a perfect compliment to the rich pork belly.
The Alan Partridge lookalike on the right in the first small photo has nothing to condescend to anyone about. AH HA!
Snell and the little Hitlers of the neighborhood association need to chill out. Legitimate businesses should have the freedom to exist without having to endure the slings and arrows of ignorant and misguided opposition.
represent, Matt.
Yeah, I’d agree that Transporter Room 3 is the worst house venue I’ve ever seen.
Food trucks are the start-up, small businesses of the future for those unable to afford real estate. No surprise, that merchants who pay rent, utilities, and maintenance on a property would despise the traveling competition. Or developers who build more empty retail spaces would want to close…
Not so much far-right Tea Party as a balanced, moderate viewpoint between letting businesses succeed and protecting society with reasonable regulations. In spite of what the city reps are saying, the interpretation of policy on this issue certainly has changed. Letting a business start up under one…
I think it’s neat that SP has turned rightward, now espousing a Tea Party-style frustration with government regulations & taxes.
This makes me so sad. (Happy to live in Urbana, though!) Crave Truck has been a GREAT addition to the food choices in C-U, and it’d be a travesty to chase them away. This town should be supporting small businesses. I’m glad to hear that they’ll still…
*slow. clap.* Still offering no threat of intelligence…. I know I said I thought you should just write this whole column yourself next year, Isaac, but now that you’ve gone and taken a “part deux” run at it, I’d like to modify my request: Best Music 2013,…
Actually, it’s kind of nice, the quiet. John Heoffleur’s engaging commentary/dialogue is sorely missed, however. In lieu of someone intelligent saying something, I’ve compiled a list of Honourable Mentions: BEST ROCK BAND: Take Care ::these gentlemen have four completely different sets at their disposal right now (which…
What? Echo! (Echo!) Where’s the dischord and dissent?
This weekend will mark the first appearance of Kayla Brown’s Fire Doll Candle booth at the Market. Check it: http://www.facebook.com/firedollcandles
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I’m in the middle (or the beginning or end, depending on how you look at it) of re-reading Slaughterhouse Five. What a great companion column.