iconLog In  |  Register

Book review: You are among friends

Give this book to every adolescent girl you know. For Valentine's Day. For eighth-grade graduation. For just being her.

Lindsey Markel's You Are Among Friends is the book I wish I read when I was 13, navigating the oily land mines of puberty: periods, zits, popularity, bullies, and body image. At 20 pages, it's a short read, but it's rich with knowing reassurance and encouragement. She seems to say, yeah, adolescence sucks — but you're awesome and here's what I can tell you to make it more palatable.

This is not Paris Hilton's advice about "how to live like an heiress" or Mary-Kate's tips on fashion. Instead, Markel is a young, approachable woman that teenage girls can really look up to — a Champaign resident (and former editor at Smile Politely), a writer, an actress in local theater, and a dedicated grad student.

At the beginning, Markel adamantly, lovingly tells her readers: "You are not alone; you will never be alone. Whatever you feel and whatever you fear, you are among friends." It's a big welcome hug, immediately communicating trust and confidentiality. While telling her readers how extraordinary they are, she also urges them to take action — take photographs, make websites, create zines, and find mentors: "Be relentless and passionate with what you create, because nobody else will do it for you."

But it's not just cheerleading. Markel is brutally honest. She discusses masturbation candidly, and instructs her readers to become familiar with their bodies. She promotes open discussion about sexuality. And she's blunt: "There are some very serious sides to sex, such as STDs and...pregnancy. These are literally not to be fucked with."

Markel includes wonderful resources in the back, including recommended fiction, nonfiction, zines, and bands (I especially like "Liz Phair [whitechocolatespaceegg and earlier]"). She also saves a few blank pages for notes, with questions to get readers inspired.

When the cover of People features the blonde, busty, 23-year-old Heidi Pratt bragging about her 10 cosmetic surgeries, girls need books like You Are Among Friends to remind them that they're fine just the way they are.

Thank you, Lindsey, for help keeping the fires of feminism stoked.

By the way, you can get You Are Among Friends here. You can also read her blog here.

2 comments

username

ljm

#1

OH WORD!! thank you so much y’all! fyi, copies are also for sale locally at exile on main street.

username

Lisa Bender

#2

Life is aligned~ I must trust this.
I look for Shelly’s website. And I also find a book for the concerns I have for my youngest child. Middle School and females…. I have a primal desire to put her in my pocket and fly


Add A Comment

A note about our commenting policy.


Comment
  1.  captcha arrow

Most Recent Arts Comments

{username}

The main character’s name is actually Lisbeth, in case you want to correct.

{username}

Karen Vaccaro is a remarkable person as well as a dedicated performer. I couldn’t imagine a better night at theater!

Kelly Innes avatar

The director should’ve added the wrinkle that the ban on dancing’s the only thing keeping Bomont from attracting the green/tech/jobs of the future!

Tracy Nectoux avatar

Now that’s Class!

emma reaux avatar

I have read several of her books and liked them. I guess because I’m not an overweight, lesbian, intersexed Jewish amputee with divorced parents I can’t comment on the offensiveness of some of her jokes.

{username}

You forgot to mention fat people.  She made fun of obesity.  And divorce.  Children of divorce were lampooned, too.  Jewish people.  She hit on a lot of “groups.“  I fit into a number of them.  If you didn’t like her speech you won’t like her books.  If…

emma reaux avatar

Lesbians: Anecdote about her mom being a lesbian, and getting her mom introduced to Rosie O’Donnell, and mom and Rosie talking about oral sex, and Weiner acting disgusted. She probably meant the disgust in a “don’t wanna hear about my mom’s vag” kind of way, but all…

Tracy Nectoux avatar

Oh. Wow.   What exactly did she say, Emma? Do you remember?

emma reaux avatar

I went to this. In the first 5 minutes of her talk, she made fun of lesbians, intersexed children, and amputees. I was honestly surprised at how offensve she was—it was like she thought the Champaign Public Library was a venue for Last Comic Standing.   I…

emma reaux avatar

Theresa—are you speaking generally about that monologue, or did you attend the Friday night showing at UIUC?

Most Recent Comments

{username}

Illinois has simply had no luck at all in these Mizzou games. None. I think maybe we’re do for a couple of bounces to go our way. If we get one or two (or sever or eight) breaks, I think it’s a win. 

Dan Schreiber avatar

Jason, Savoy could easily join the CPL tax district, which is probably closer to most Savoy residents than the Tolono library is.  But my impression is that Savoy residents as a whole don’t want to pay the cost of the CPL (Tolono’s library taxes are cheaper), even…

{username}

Sorry, but I am lagging behind on updates to the map. Also, some construction projects were delayed from their original start date. On a more positive note, I am putting together a map of haunted houses in Central Illinois. I have a few plotted already, and I…

{username}

I’ve never gotten the privilege of all the services CPL cardholders get.  I just want to be able to go out of my way to drive to the CPL to check out books, pay fines, maybe buy some coffee, and enjoy the library.  None of those activities…

{username}

These days, there is more to using a library than checking out books. At one time, paying into the Lincoln Trails system probably would cover the expenses incurred by other libraries in the system. Now, with Internet, videos, coffee shops, wireless Internet hubs, etc., I suspect the…

{username}

(speaking as a Savoy resident)  By paying taxes to support a member of the LTLS, we are paying our “fair share” to use any LTLS library—Tolono, Champaign, Urbana, etc.  This is how library systems work.  The 6% of CPL’s circulation represented by Tolono users is NOT significant…

Rob McColley avatar

I read Timbo’s argument. I think the key word is “speculating.“

{username}

I would be interested to hear more about the “word on the street”—how are individual hauling companies fulfilling their promise to recycle?

{username}

Timbo makes a smart, sound argument. Reread it.

emma reaux avatar

I joined on 09-09-09 after living here over a year, and having to listen to my dad tell me how his best friend is, like, #27 or something crazy like that, and how said friend never lived further than 50 feet from the Illini Inn while going…

Dan Schreiber avatar

And, I might add, no one is being prevented from using the Champaign library. They are just being asked to pay their fair share if they are going to use it as their primary library.

Dan Schreiber avatar

The equation is pretty simple here. If you want social services, then pay the taxes required to run those social services. These things only work if everyone puts in their fair share. As a heavy user of the Champaign Library, I say bravo to this new policy.

Timbo avatar

Curtis Orchard is always good for an hour or three, especially if you have rugrats.

Timbo avatar

What is the increased marginal cost of serving a resident of Savoy or Mahomet? I suspect negligible. What is the increased revenue to be realized by this new policy? I suspect very little. Aside from these financial aspects, what are the most probable results from this new…

{username}

Looks like you are also all members of the killer sideburns club.

{username}

Thanks for the article, Ben.  I was not familiar with this band until now and even though I won’t be able to attend the show on Friday they are now on my radar.  A *good* jam band is hard to find, and these folks appear to fill…

{username}

Nice article, love the Dead quote in the beginning. If they can get down here to Central FL I’ll definitely be heading out to the show. Some of my friends have finally stopped wincing when I say “jam band.“ I’ve now tried my best at more descriptive…

Joel Gillespie avatar

@Annie: Yeah, my bad. That was the best part! Drinking + memory exercises = fun @Rob: According to Ask the English Teacher, “My dictionary says ‘drunk’ is an archaic past tense of ‘drink.‘“ We’re all about the new grammar around here.

Tracy Nectoux avatar

Katie, have the residents of Savoy and Tolono thought about having their taxes raised a little to help their public library expand? That’s a possibility for them. And then everybody wins.

Ben Valocchi avatar

good call on that Herring recording, Josh. Love that version of Exit Music….here’s a clip of the Cinco de Mayo show (from about six months prior). As I recall, this Shakedown went on for roughly a half hour, while getting into the Trampled Underfoot jam in the…

Log In



Auto-login on future visits

Forgot your password?