Smile Politely.com / Smile Politely

Ask Politely #16

2008-05-16T22:00:04Z

When you enter the “real world,” you have to get used to a few things. Signing up for a 401k, for example. Setting an alarm clock for a time only previously observed by ambitious creatures such a birds and coke addicts. And — our favorite — the hour-long lunch break.

In jobs that don’t enjoy the luxury of an hour-long break, employees are often forced to suffer the thirty-minute rush, in which there’s just enough time to grab a sandwich and wolf it down before it’s time to clock back in. But when you have an hour, you’re likely to spread your gastrointestinal wings and seek out some deals. You might find that Cafe Kopi, for instance, offers a mean Thai tempeh sandwich, and that with KoFusion's lunch sushi deal, you get nine pieces of sushi and a bowl of miso soup for under ten dollars and in under thirty minutes.

But this is just the tip of the iceberg lettuce (we couldn’t resist), and we know there are plenty more praiseworthy lunchtime deals around town. So, all you grown-ups out there with hour-long lunch breaks and ten bucks to burn: Where do you go for lunch? Where can you get in and out within an hour, and without paying more (or much more) than ten dollars?

Vintage Vinyl Sale at Lincoln Square Village

2008-05-16T20:30:00Z

Lincoln Square Village will be crawling with hundreds of audiophiles starting as early as doors will allow, this Saturday, May 17 at 8 a.m. The annual Vintage Vinyl sale begins at the crack of dawn (for those the love to r-a-w-k). Those waiting in line usually can be found scanning their prepared list of records to hunt for as soon as they step foot in the sale.

]]> Once inside, they'll find used records, tapes and CDs, in almost every genre, in seemingly endless, tightly packed rows. The donated items will be sold at various prices, some as inexpensive as one dollar. Used stereo equipment can also be found at bargain prices.

The entrance fee will be $5 when doors open; 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. free admittance; and finally from 4 p.m. to 6 p.m. it will be free admittance for all, accompanied by a half price sale. The sale benefits WILL's Illinois Radio Reader, news and information for visually handicapped in east central Illinois.

Lincoln Square Village is located in downtown Urbana at the corner of Elm and Broadway, and the sale will be across the hall from Cardinal Fitness on the east side of the mall.

Big Brown Gets No Respect in the Preakness

2008-05-16T19:00:00Z

One thing is for certain about horse racing: there is no such thing as a “sure thing.” Horses are living, breathing creatures with as distinct personalities as pedigrees. A horse is not a car — he gets sick, gets hungry, gets full of himself, gets tired. In short, he is a real athlete in every sense of the word. And just as in the human world, there are those horses who stand out among the rest physically and mentally, being born with a talent that screams to be exercised. There are horses, and then there are horses.

]]> Looking at the field of thirteen going into the Preakness Stakes, the second jewel of the Triple Crown, there is no doubt in my mind that Big Brown should put his contenders to shame. He is, to put it frankly, in a league of his own. We can grasp for flaws, oh, we can pick at the most minute of potential blemishes, but that’s called desperation. Can he pull himself together after only a two-week layoff? He’s also never broken from the middle of the field before, and he has drawn post seven; so we must ask the question of whether or not he could handle getting pinched back, or having dirt thrown in his face. After all, look what happened to the unbeaten champ, War Pass, the first time a race didn’t go his way.

Nevermind these questions. The only thing, I tell you, that will keep Big Brown from winning this race is Big Brown himself. The Preakness is as close to a sure thing as they come.

Still, the Kentucky Derby winner is getting little respect. Twelve other horses dared show up to Pimlico to face him. Some, like the trainer of Kentucky Bear, boast, “He hasn’t beaten us yet.”

I hope Kentucky Bear is prepared for the race of his life once Brownie begins to breathe his fire. No, my guess is Kentucky Bear will just be another domino to fall under the monster’s ground-eating charge to the wire.

The horses I see most likely to dominate everyone but Big Brown are Gayego, Giant Moon, and Icabad Crane. Recapturetheglory came down with a fever (think cold, sweaty dreams in which he’s being chased by a ravaging brown horror), Gayego became the only horse from the Kentucky Derby field to challenge him again. If any contender deserves to be in the Preakness besides Big Brown, it’s Gayego.

Before the Derby field had even swept past the clubhouse turn, Gayego was obviously in turmoil. Slapped in a hole between horses, the dark colt was running up on the heels of Recapturetheglory in front of him, unable to break out of the clutch of horses, and looking like he was in a cavalry charge, head tipped back and eyes bulging. He never had a chance to put in a good run, folding his cards and fading to 17th place by the race’s end. The Derby has a way of swallowing up good horses. Gayego had never finished worse than second before that race, and since he didn’t have the chance to wear himself out, Gayego may have a good store of energy left to blow out in the Preakness’s smaller field. Coming from post twelve is not going to help his efforts, however.

That’s why I point to Giant Moon and Icabad (not Ichabod) Crane, throwing Hey Byrn into the mix for good measure. Any of these horses have proven themselves to at least be potential third-place hopefuls in the shadows of Mr. Big and Gayego, which is more than I can say about the rest of the sorry contenders. But with this unpredictable lot, it’s hard to tell exactly what is going to happen come this Saturday in Baltimore.

Big Brown is mortal. He can be beaten, hypothetically. But I wouldn’t bet on that happening here. It’s too bad the Preakness is only for 3-year-olds, otherwise I’d suggest we bring back last year’s winner, Curlin, into the fray and have a real race. If Mr. Big wants some real competition, he’s going to have to pick on someone his own size. ’Cause let’s face it, Big Brown is beating up on a bunch of babies here, a heavyweight trouncing the lightweights. If they let him race after the Belmont, oh what a reckoning there could be…

Books to Prisoners: Literacy as a Right

2008-05-16T17:30:57Z

In 2007, the Federal Bureau of Prisons made the decision to expunge all religious materials from prison libraries nationwide in an effort to prevent prisons from becoming potential “recruiting grounds” for terrorists. Amid public outcry and inmate lawsuits, the bureau was forced to reverse its initiative.

One-year prior, Pennsylvania was forced to justify, in court, its statewide ban on all news, magazines, and photographs to a sizable portion of the state’s inmate population.

]]> Though the line between constructive rehabilitation and vengeful punishment has been one constantly negotiated in our prison system since its inception, the uniquely bizarre national climate, the swing in national discourse towards a more punitive penal system has made organizations like the Urbana-Champaign Books to Prisoners program, a necessity for inmates in the state of Illinois.

The UC Books to Prisoners project began with one University of Illinois Library and Information Science graduate a few years ago, who began with a few donations and an example, set by other books to prisoners programs in the state. Since then the organization has swelled to distribute nearly 24,000 books to almost four thousand inmates in Illinois.

For an all-volunteer organization, the project is fairly ambitious. The program offers books by mail to all Illinois inmates, staffs lending libraries in the two local Champaign County jails and publishes a ‘zine of inmate-authored words and art.

According to Suzanne Linder from Books to Prisoners, the inmates’ reactions were, “Largely appreciative. We’ve grown from serving 20 inmates to three to four thousand inmates that we contact with regularly. There is a tremendous need for reading materials in prisons.”

Indeed, decreases funding for prison libraries has positioned programs like this one as sometimes the sole source of literature for inmates.

“These books go directly to prisoners and become their personal property,” Linder says, “Increasingly, funding for libraries is being cut…and often we find prisons use access to the library as a form of control. One of the things we believe is that literacy is a right.”

Another function of the organization is to provide a venue for prisoners to tell their stories. Prisoners write letters to the organization requesting books, which are then read by volunteers. The process of giving a voice to these inmates eventually grew to encompass a yearly ‘zine consisting of poetry, photography, art, prose and other artistic contributions from Illinois inmates. According to Linder, the effort came about as a result of a volunteer several years ago that was interested in publishing inmate art and poetry. Books for Prisoners publish the ‘zine as volunteer time allows.

Volunteers at the program have an opportunity to participate in a number of different activities. “Pack-a-thons” are held several times a week where requested literature is packed up and shipped off to Illinois prisons. Volunteers can sign up to work a few shifts at Champaign County jail lending libraries, where the program staffs, stocks, and operates these libraries. The organization’s book sales remain the sole method of covering the $400-600 a month shipping costs.

“We have a core group of about 10-15 [volunteers] who manage day to day operations,” Linder says. “With everyone from middle schoolers through retired people who work with us regularly. During the school year several student organizations volunteer a few times a month.”

As Linder points out, the unique nature of the work keeps volunteers coming back for more.

“When people get involved it’s a pretty rewarding volunteer experience,” Linder says. They find it sort of takes over more of their life than they had necessarily planned it to.”

Say It Ain’t So Jimmy Ballgame

2008-05-16T15:55:13Z

Back in December, I wrote a long-winded eulogy for Jim Edmonds when his ties were cut with the Cardinals upon being shipped to San Diego. I wanted to remember his loping, upper-cut swing, his shoestring or scaling-the-wall catches, his notoriously lackadaisical appearance on the field, his So. Cal. bleached tips, his uncanny ability to clobber the high fastball and that glorious, walk-off home run he hit off Dan Miceli to keep the Cardinals alive in the 2004 NLCS.

I never published that eulogy. And now, I’m glad I didn’t, because Jim Edmonds isn’t going quietly into the night. Instead, he’s playing for the arch-rival Cubs. Whether Edmonds, who once admitted to treading lightly on Wrigley’s warning track thanks to its vine-covered brick walls, has any gas left in the tank or not is beside the point. He’ll be wearing the C on his chest, and that’s uncomfortable for Redbirds fans. The man who said on many occasions that he wanted to end his career in St. Louis will now likely cap his career in Chicago. That’s tough to stomach.

]]> Edmonds went one-for-four in his Cubs debut yesterday, stranding seven men on base. His batting average now sits at .181 and his OPS is just south of god-awful at .498. Edmonds is going to receive the playing time that could have gone to a talented youngster, Felix Pie, who was optioned to Triple-A to make room for the veteran. Pee-ay hasn’t hit much better than Edmonds this season, but at age 23 he is the future, not Edmonds. The Cubs have a stacked lineup, and when they are getting far above-average offensive production from their catcher and shortstop (and occasionally their pitcher), the team can afford to have a weaker hitter manning center. Pie doesn’t stand to learn much more in the minors; in one-plus seasons at Triple-A he has slugged 24 home runs and hit well north of .300. So as frustrating as youthful inexperience can sometimes be, his demotion doesn’t make much sense.

The irony of the acquisition is that the Cardinals dealt Jimmy Ballgame and his ever-declining skill set to the Padres to make room for a plethora of youth in the outfield, including their own stud center field prospect, Colby Rasmus. The Cubs then acquired Edmonds to block their own youth movement. Stupid personnel decisions aside, the Cubs can probably afford to roll the dice on Edmonds. I can see why they wanted him: In 505 career plate appearances against Chicago, Edmonds has hit 32 home runs, the most he’s hit against any one team. Still, one question remains: Will Big Z be able to resist plunking Edmonds during BP?

IN OTHER NEWS . . .

The Cardinals are in the midst of a suck fest, having lost seven of their past nine games. Three of those losses can be directly attributed to Jason Isringhausen, who all of a sudden looks worse than his injured 2006 self. (And I didn’t think that was possible.) But we can’t blame Izzy for everything.

While the team’s offense has been stranding runners and puttering along at a slightly worse-than-season-average clip, the team’s pitching staff has begun a serious regression. All those close games the Cardinals were winning in April are now ending up losses. Over this nine-game stretch, the team’s ERA is 5.56, nearly two runs worse than its mark in all prior games. The signs of decline have been there: During April the team posted a 3.41 ERA; over the first week of May the ERA ballooned to 4.58. So as the offense has been slipping a bit, the pitching is quickly becoming atrocious.

The fault doesn’t lie solely with Isringhausen, who has actually contributed two scoreless frames in an attempt to balance out his other three appalling appearances. Ronald Thomas Villone Jr.’s ERA has blown up too, from 0.63 at the start of this stretch of games to 4.76 after yesterday’s debacle. Even the starting pitchers have begun to falter, with Adam Wainwright putting forth his poorest performance of the season (but just his second non-quality start). I never thought I’d say this, but where would we be without Todd Wellemeyer? We can bemoan the absence of Chris Carpenter all we want, but Welle has been doing a damn fine impersonation of a power pitcher so far this season: Opposing hitters are reaching base just 28 percent of the time against him, and he’s striking out nearly a batter an inning.

So are the team’s recent troubles a passing bout or a sign of the times? I’d wager a bet that we’re not as bad as we currently look, but that we’re also not as good as we were in April. What that means is we’re probably going to remain competitive among the first tier in the N.L. Central, but we aren’t likely to hang with the Cubs much longer. They have one of the league’s best offenses, which is not a fluke, and one of the league’s best pitching staffs, too. Then again, they also have Jim Edmonds. So, maybe Lou Piniella and company will find a way to botch this whole thing by September after all.

P.S.

Thanks to some fine pitching by the simulated version of Bob Forsch, the 1986 Cardinals have advanced to the World Series to face the Yankees. In case you haven't been following The Sporting News’ simulation of the ’86 season, Deadspin founder, Redbird enthusiast and Mattoon native Will Leitch has skippered the Cardinals to the Fall Classic.

From Snowsera to Selleck, WPGU Plays Up Local Artists

2008-05-16T15:00:14Z

Have you heard that in the voting booths this year, the members of Elsinore are casting their ballots for Tom Selleck's mustache? Or that Snowsera's favorite horror film is monster movie The Host?

Then you may have noticed that WPGU, the college-run station broadcasting from Green Street, has been paying more attention to local music lately.

Since the controversial Local Music Awards last month, Operations Manager Jon Hansen has listened to many criticisms and suggestions for the station — and, working against managerial-type, when Hansen listens, he actually listens. In the past month, WPGU has put into play, so to speak, a "band of the week" feature, which includes quirky band profiles read on-air, as well as a featured track played every day at a regular time. In addition, WPGU has amped up its local show coverage, updated its music digital database and added newer songs by current local artists.

]]> Were these changes spurred by the Local Music Awards and the controversy surrounding them? Short answer — yes, says Hansen; long answer — not really. "We knew we had slipped in our coverage of the local scene over the previous two years, and we had always planned on getting better. The criticisms (we heard during the LMAs) were valid, and it really got us into high gear trying to represent the local scene better," Hansen says. He reports the station has more improvements planned for the summer and fall.

In the meantime, with the school year ending and most students departing, it's time once again for WPGU to think about welcoming a new batch of student DJs, the trickiness of which does not escape Hansen.

"It's not easy running a college radio station," he says. "Students come and go, music tastes change with every semester and we lose a lot of the expertise in local music as certain students graduate. Our local music knowledge and excitement often comes from a relatively small group of students who frequent a lot of local shows. But when they graduate, we just have to hope that there are others to replace them."

It goes without saying that it is not WPGU's inherent duty to support and report on the local scene. "WPGU is a commercial station," Hansen points out. "We need advertising dollars to survive. We aren't funded by the university, so we must cover our expenses somehow." The implied question here becomes: Is local music good for business?

WPGU is a work in progress, much like the local scene itself. And true to form, Hansen remains open to suggestions.

Artists who wish to get their musical foot in the door at WPGU can send a CD to Music Director Jon Childers. "But don't just send us your CD," insists Hansen. "Send the music director an email, stop by the station. We get hundreds of CDs a week, and it helps if you 'bother' us about it."

Market Watch: Spring Green-ing

2008-05-16T14:00:47Z

It was a great day at the Urbana Farmers' Market last week, and customers enjoyed the gorgeous weather, catching up with the local farmers and running in to friends, while exploring all the market had to offer. Although the variety of available produce was less than market goers are accustomed to this time of year, the bounty was plenty. Asparagus was the vegetable-of-the-day, and although I went slightly overboard on my purchases, I have no regrets, and will likely indulge again.

]]> Tomorrow is predicted to be another great day with sunny skies and warm temperatures — a contrast to the last few lousy days. If you have been thinking of going green this year, and by that I mean planting your own garden, the market is the place to go for seedlings.

Last week, I picked up a variety of herbs from the familiar basil to the more obscure stevia and was wishing I had more space in my yard. There are plenty of vegetables and bedding plants as well; if you don't have a green thumb — never fear! — there are cut herbs and flowers for sale too.

This weekend's cool weather bodes well for radishes, which are sweet and crisp this time of year. Peppery undertones make radishes great with local lettuces, and their greens, when young and tender, can be enjoyed raw as well. Rhubarb is going strong at the market, and although we don't have strawberries yet, the rhubarb is perfect for pie, jam or a lovely compote to accompany some locally raised pork. Throw in some simple grilled asparagus and you have a complete meal right from your own back yard.

Rhubarb Compote

• 1½ pounds of fresh rhubarb
• ½–1 cup sugar (depending on your taste)
• 1/3 cup water
• 1 tbsp minced ginger

Wash the rhubarb, trim off the stalks' ends and slice them crosswise into half-inch pieces. Combine all ingredients in a heavy, large saucepan. Bring to a boil and reduce heat to medium-low. Simmer until rhubarb is soft and falling apart, reduced by at least half and thickened, for about 20 minutes. Refrigerate until cold.

Market on the Square runs every Saturday from 7 a.m.–noon, rain or shine now through November 8. The market is located in the parking lot of Lincoln Square Mall on the corners of Vine and Illinois streets in Urbana.

Take Two Wheels Tomorrow for National Bike to Work Day

2008-05-15T20:30:00Z

If rusty chains, blown-out tubes or any other cycle malady has been keeping you from participating in this week's Bike to Work Week (May 12–16), and you feel like you don't have the tools or know-how for a DIY fix, The Bike Project of Urbana- Champaign can help (and before the big Bike to Work Day tomorrow, May 16).

]]> The Bike Project (a member-run co-op) opens its downtown Urbana repair shop three days a week to the community, offering the co-op's tools, repair guides and staffers' expertise to people looking to learn to fix their bikes themselves.

The repair shop is open to the public on Wednesdays from 6:30–8:30 p.m.; Thursdays from 6 –9 p.m.; and Sundays from 4–5 p.m. A free repair class, for all levels of experience, is also held every Sunday at 2 p.m.

The Bike Project is located in room 24 of the Independent Media Center building, at 202 S. Broadway in Urbana. For more information about the co-op's open hours, workshops and events, or membership benefits, go to The Bike Project's website.

Share The Road, Loud and Clear

2008-05-15T19:00:00Z

What’s big, yellow, and wants you to share the road? If you’ve seen the C-U Mass Transit District’s new Share the Road bus, it’s no mystery. The bus, which travels on various routes throughout the area depending on the day, made its debut a few weeks ago.

]]> The name of the bus comes from the new Illinois law, which took effect on January 1, 2008, requiring motorists to allow a minimum of 3 feet clearance when passing a bicycle. Rick Furr, publicist for Champaign County Bikes (CCB), a local bicycle advocacy organization, sent out a press release when the bus debuted. This press release explained the “Share the Road” concept: “Bicycles are considered vehicles by the Illinois Vehicle Code and have the same rights and responsibilities as cars and need to follow the same rules. Both benefit when everyone follows the rules of the road.”

CCB was the leading force behind getting the buswrap in place, but they were by no means alone. “The cities, CUMTD, CCB, UIUC, and local bike shops teamed with Carle Foundation, The Bike Project, and C-U Safe Routes To School (SRTS) Project to put the wrap together,” said Cynthia Hoyle, CCB member and a Transportation Planning Consultant for CUMTD. “CUMTD provided significant in-kindcontributions with the bus space, Dean's produced the wrap, and Joyce Mast, a member of CCB, did the design.”

Mast, an avid cyclist and graphic designer, took great care in her design. “I felt it is important to show that many different kinds of folks ride bikes and need to share the road with cars,” she said. “I included a wheelchair racer from the U of I, a pregnant lady with a child in a child seat and groceries in her basket, a lady on a 3-wheeled recumbent, a male racer, a tourist with panniers on his bike, a woman with a trailer, and a business man commuting to work. All these folks are typical of bike riders in Champaign Urbana.”

Rick Langlois, CCB chairman, puts this project in perspective of their larger goals. “In two short years we have helped both Champaign and Urbana design and move bicycle plans through the city councils,” he remarked. “In another month we will have 30,000 professionally produced, color maps of the cities with bike routes selected and graded by local riders.”

This is National Bike to Work Week, so whether you are riding yourself or occupying the same roads and streets as bicyclists, look out for each other and respect your fellow commuters.

Stay tuned to Smile Politely. In a few hours, our own Lena Singer will be highlighting the importance of this week.

Local Diablo — The Best Metal Comp from Rantucky that You've Never Heard

2008-05-15T17:30:40Z

In my younger days, I used to be affiliated with the underground metal scene in Champaign-Urbana. In the partying, drinking and recreational times, I had many run-ins with a guy named “Brother Rich.” Brother Rich Berg was the lead singer of a band called Hate Choir back in the 90s. He was also a visionary, always having new ideas to promote himself or others in the scene — especially the hardcore, speed-metal bands. It was then in 1996 when Brother Rich released the best album ever, Loco Diablo Local Underground Compilation Vol. 1.

]]> This was actually a compilation album, but was one of the first to really showcase the not-so-mainstream rock scene Champaign had. LDLUCv1 had it all: punk, rock, industrial, ska and even a gentle acoustic ballad. The packaging was so basic, a cardboard sleeve with artwork depicting skulls and hypodermic needles. I don’t know what that was supposed to mean. Skulls like needles? I dunno.

Tracks 1 through 10 features the band The Great Experiment. I have no information as to where they were from, who they were, or why the hell they had 10 tracks on the disc! They kick the album off with a short 0:41 second song called “Brainwashed 1." Their magnum opus, “Fascists,” sums up the band as a whole and shows their diverse range as a band. I would really like to know where this band went. They could have really set the world on fire with their rock. They make the album worth buying.

The next band we hear is a Champaign band called 7G. I don’t know if the name is a reference to The Simpsons, or maybe there were seven guys in the band named Greg. Who knows? Their recordings were a little quiet, but the message in their rocking tune “Die Slower” was loud as ever: “Diiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeee slooooooooooower, get a little oooolder!” I think later on they packed up their gear and moved to Chicago to get their music heard or something. I really hope they didn’t.

Tolono’s Blessed With Pain hits heavy on this comp with "Fatal Affection." I was really surprised to see that this band is still around. They’ve gone through some lineup changes in recent years, but they produce the same sound they did 12 years ago. The lead singer quit a few years ago to cook the best bar-b-que in town over at Radmaker’s.

Groove metal band Geartooth also makes an appearance as one of three bands from Rantoul, IL with "Grinding Gears." Who knew a place people call “Rantucky” had so much talent? Those who know their local music trivia know that Geartooth later became known as Brother Embassy when yours truly took the frontman role of the band and got hip to the funk. How in the hell did they go from this to that?

Before Aaron Lewis made a certain band famous, there was local grunge group Stained. Don’t even try to google these guys. You won’t find them. I think they were from Gilman, IL and the lead singer had a voice eerily similar to Lane Staley. Back in Napster’s heyday and around the time of the singer’s death, I made one of my first internet hoaxes by renaming this band’s song as an “unreleased” Alice In Chains track. It worked…for a while. Enjoy their contribution, "I Hate Myself."

The second Rantoul, IL band to make an appearance was cheese metal group Sin13. I remember seeing this band live and recognizing each of the members as employees at music stores and pawn shops. They had the best guitar gear working at a music shop could get you. The music was a throwback to Megadeth and Anthrax. Is that a good thing? Filled with guitar solos up the wazoo, I think this band just wanted to write a song where they could show off their newly learned pinch harmonic technique in every note. I think I might have heard ECW use their music in some wrestling entrances.

Something completely out of left field was a couple from Ann Arbor, Juliet La Ferier and L. Shiva. I- I just don’t even know what think of their song "Fragments." I could see role-playing nerds enjoying this shit.

Remember when ska was cool? For that six month period in 1996? Ska was the jam. Every hit band at the time seemed to be a band of the ska-punk persuasion. Local group Jump Suit Robbie jumped on the wagon as well, with songs like "Fat Kid." Before MMMRGs (Massively Multi Musician Rock Group) like At Knifepoint or Pulsar 47 appeared, JSR was one big-ass band. I saw this band at some house party in Urbana once. I think the band got up to about 50 members before ska music finally died out. Jump Suit disbanded and some members resurfaced years later in The Living Blue and The Beauty Shop [Ed. Note: Check out old-school Creech on the right!].

The last band to close out the compilation was Rantoul-based band Hate Choir. These guys were my personal favorite band. They were all about the partying. I remember seeing them play their hit “Young Cunt” at a Disciples Foundation all ages show which got shut down after the lead singer cut himself and flung his bloody hand into the crowd. But they were most famously known for their meth head anthem “Dirty White Room." Their lyrics still bring tears to my eyes: “I couldn’t cum because my hand was numb so I decided I would go outside for a while and fucking rape you, bitch!” Jesus, I miss them so much!

This little gem of a CD is a hard find. There were only about 1,000 copies made. Since then, Brother Rich has created 10 sequels to this one, but not as local (or as good) as the first one was since he’s moved to Arizona. You might be able to score a copy from a pawn shop or old-school scenesters that are still around. It’s definitely worth a full night's listen. This is the best album ever!

Why is Finding a Good Chinese Buffet So Crazy Difficult?

2008-05-15T16:05:41Z

I was lured to Crazy Buffet in the North Prospect Big Box Retail District the other night on the recommendation of a friend who told me that this place was “better than the others.” By the others, I’m assuming he meant Chinatown Buffet, the now defunct Four Seasons House and Eastern Taste down in Savoy (conveniently located next to Friar Tuck). Of course, my excitement at eating at Crazy Buffet was fueled by the fact that I hadn’t eaten much all day and, aside from its abundance and variety, it dished up food that looked and smelled good. Yet, on finishing my third plate, I looked down at the substantial leftovers (bits of this or that I didn’t feel like eating) and thought to myself: Nothing here was really very good.

]]> There’s no way else to say it: The Chinese buffets here in town aren’t anything special. Believe me, nobody wants them to be great more than me. When I lived in San Francisco my coworkers and I would take the streetcar down to an all-you-can-eat buffet that sold some of the best shaomai I’ve ever tasted, not to mention an overwhelming array of salty, yummy, greasy goodness, fresh and piping hot, dishes as good as any restaurant in Chinatown could make. My stomach would growl at the mere thought of eating there.

But — and here’s what the Chinese buffets operating in our area should realize — every item, from the California rolls on the sushi buffet to the sticky sweet General Tso’s chicken, should taste as good and as fresh as if it was made to order.

That said, I have to think that most people who patronize buffets realize they’re getting inferior stuff and they don’t really care. Eating at a buffet — excluding those rare bastions of quality — is more about value and variety than satisfying our inner epicure.

Of course, it’s possible that eating at any buffet requires more sampling to find the hidden culinary treasures than I’ve been willing to put in. Though both Japanese restaurants in town, Kamakura or Sushi Kame, serve better sushi, Crazy Buffet’s rolls had actual fish in them (not just tofu and imitation crab meat) and their nigiri had sizable chunks of raw salmon — not bad for a run-of-the-mill buffet, though the chalky wasabi left me disappointed.

Feng Liu, a graduate student in the School of Molecular and Cellular Biology at the University of Illinois and a native of China, lends some support to my claim: “The buffets in town just aren’t good,” he says. “The food is better at other places like Mandarin Wok on Green Street or The Wok in Mahomet…. But if you’re hungry,” Liu admits. “Buffets can be good.”

And this seems to get at the heart of it. If you’re hungry and you want to eat lots of different kinds of food and you want as many calories as you can possibly consume for your dollar, then mediocre Chinese buffets are your best bet. And lucky for the hungry among us, there are a number of them here in town.

See You, Speak Up: Champaign's Larry Ecker

2008-05-15T14:30:00Z

At Smile Politely, we're interested in what the people of Champaign- Urbana think about this place we call home. So how do we find out what they think? Simple. We ask them.

Name: Larry Ecker

Occupation/Education: Director, Creative Services, The U

Original Hometown: Buckley, Ill.

Current Hometown: Champaign

Number of Years Living in the C-U Area: 30

Age: 56

]]> List five things you really like about C-U:

1. Variety of restaurants
2. Access to Chicago, St. Louis and Indianapolis
3. Ten-minute bike commute to work
4. The music scene
5. Being on campus in general

List five things you really don’t like about C-U:

1. Landscape
2. Winters, especially if they have short springs
3. Distance to large bodies of water
4. Lack of wooded acreage
5. And the landscape

Woodlawn Cemetery

2008-05-14T20:30:00Z

Woodlawn Cemetery, which shares its land with Busey Woods in Urbana, houses many folks who once walked the streets of our two towns. Illegible tombstones from the pre-Civil War era flock the grounds — but one lesser known fact is that this cemetery has a few sections lovingly referred to as "babyland" by the groundskeepers. Large rows of tiny worn down grave markers, like the ones above from the oldest "babyland," can be found on the southeast side of the cemetery marking the deaths of many children who died from various illnesses in the early 1900s. Another interesting grave marker, for Isham Cook, is one from the first body buried at this cemetery. Although his body is not directly under his tombstone, it is "still around somewhere under the grounds," according to a groundskeeper. Click "Continue Reading" to see Cook's marker.

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The AL Central Report #11

2008-05-14T19:00:00Z

Now that we’re nearly at the quarter pole of the regular season, the flukes of April should be fading away to reveal something more concrete in the American League Central. Instead, it’s a muddled race to the middle, with only 4.5 games separating first place from fifth, and no team with a winning percentage over .530 or under .400. Any analysis based on a given team’s spot in this crapshoot could be completely irrelevant by this time next week. But hey, that’s why I’m here.

]]> Minnesota (20–18): After winning three out of four from the Boston Red Sox this weekend — despite only outscoring them 25–22 in the series — the Twins look as solid at this point as they have all season. Here’s a weird schedule fluke for you: as of Tuesday morning, none of the Twins’ opponents from now until June 20 (Arizona) currently have a winning record. That group does include the Yankees, Tigers, Rockies and Indians, but still, everybody is at .500 or below right now. Minnesota probably lost reliever Pat Neshek for the season with a partially torn ligament in his elbow earlier this week; the best-case scenario is that he could return without surgery in September, while the other end of the hopefulness spectrum is brought to you by the letters T and J. Oh, and if you didn’t already see Michael Cuddyer’s Keystone Kops Katch on Monday night, check it out.

Cleveland (20–19): In Monday’s doubleheader against the Toronto Blue Jays, starting pitchers Fausto Carmona and Cliff Lee combined for 18 shutout innings, but only Carmona claimed a victory. Lee left after nine innings and 117 pitches in a scoreless tie, and Rafael Betancourt quickly gave up 3 runs in the 10th to facilitate a Blue Jays win. Lee lowered his ERA to 0.67, which we already covered last week, while Betancourt’s Joe Borowski impression continued to be a little too spot-on for most Indians fans. Since Borowski went on the DL on April 15, Betancourt has given up at least one run in 4 of his 10 appearances, and has two losses and one blown save. After Monday night’s fiasco, his ERA is 6.89. Despite otherwise excellent pitching (with the exception of C.C. Sabathia’s April), the Indians are scuffling due to their unexpectedly poor offense — they are hitting .236 as a team (last in the AL) and have scored only 4.3 runs per game (11th).

Chicago (18–20): The Sox had dropped six games in a row through last Monday, May 5, a crisis which required blow-up dolls in the clubhouse (insert Ozzie and the Real Doll joke here). Ozzie’s crew responded to that motivational ploy by winning their next two series, against the Twins and Mariners, so who knows what the remedy will be for their next slump. Other than Mark Buehrle (1–5, 5.81 ERA), their rotation has been great, with John Danks, Gavin Floyd, Javier Vazquez and Jose Contreras all sporting ERA’s between 2.74 and 3.66. New left fielder Carlos Quentin has been spearheading the offense, and looks poised for a breakout season if he stays healthy. So why aren’t they winning more games? The most obvious reason is that half their team isn’t hitting: four regulars (Jim Thome, Nick Swisher, Paul Konerko, Orlando Cabrera and Juan Uribe) are hitting .230 or lower. At least Thome (.350 OBP), Swisher (.331), and Konerko (.338) are still getting on base at an acceptable rate while their bats warm up. Chicago, as usual, has the pieces in place to contend, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they end up stuck around the .500 mark most of the season.

Kansas City (17-21): The Royals’ situation is pretty simple, and not likely to change anytime soon: their pitching and defense are decent, and their offense is bad. On the pitching side, Zack Greinke has been phenomenal so far, charging to a 4–1 start with a 1.93 ERA. In the bullpen, Joakim Soria has been untouchable, saving 9 games while surrendering only 4 hits and no runs in 15–1/3 inning pitched. Brian Bannister has been decent, going 4–4 with a 3.75 ERA. On the offensive side, however, things get ugly in a big hurry. Kansas City has scored only 3.6 runs per game, last in the majors. They have 19 home runs and are on pace to hit 82 homers this season, which is still more than Barry Bonds’ record of 73, but not a very good effort for an entire team. Free agent acquisition Jose Guillen finally raised his batting average over .200 this past week, but he’s still lagging behind the performance of the man he replaced, the none-too-fondly-remembered Emil Brown.

Detroit (16–23): On the other end of the spectrum, the Tigers have achieved strikingly similar results to those of the Royals with the opposite formula: decent offense combined with shoddy pitching and fielding. Other than fill-in Armando Galarraga and his 3.07 ERA in five starts, the only other rotation member with an ERA under 5 is Jeremy Bonderman (a sparkling 4.80 mark to go with his 2–4 record). Heralded acquisitions Miguel Cabrera and Dontrelle Willis haven’t contributed much so far. Willis has been hurt, but Cabrera has just been confounding. He’s been moved to first base because of defensive struggles at third, and his patience and production at the plate are far behind his career averages. All season we’ve been waiting for the Tigers to break out of their funk and play like the team they were expected to be. Maybe it will still happen, but they are looking more like a team in disarray than the wrecking ball that was promised.

Geoff Merritt's Parasol, That's Rentertainment and the Decline and Fall of Campustown

2008-05-14T16:00:46Z

"You used to be able to spend an entire day on campus," Geoff Merritt ruminates with me over coffee. "It's not a destination anymore." That's a shocking realization, but hard to deny, coming from the owner of the last remaining cultural hub in the bar, restaurant, and new monolithic apartment building zone that once hosted a movie theater, record stores, bookstores, a video arcade, and numerous other fun places to stop. Now Merritt's store, That's Rentertainment — an excellent video store featuring foreign films, music videos, independent films, documentaries, and everything Blockbuster doesn't and does stock — seems to be the last oasis of intelligent consumption left in what was once a thriving cultural center. ]]> That's Rentertainment was originally a different store in Iowa City, a place to rent LPs. The owner made an ill-fated attempt to open a branch in Champaign-Urbana, and when this venture failed, and the records were being packed up to be sent back to Iowa, Geoff asked if he could buy them. He did, took their leftover signs (to save money on signage, though he is not completely satisfied with the punny name), and opened his own independent album-rental shop in 1985 in Johnstowne Centre, one of many ghostly former malls in the twin-city area. Two years later the music industry threatened to sue him — he didn't know that renting out records was a crime — and so the store sold off its selection of vinyl and became a video store overnight. It would move a few doors up and down and to the left, but today is still everything it used to be — simply one of the best video rental places around. It experimented with a couple of second locations (one shared with an ice cream store, one with a coffee shop), but worked best as a single store. Rentertainment's healthy impulse to support the art it believes in has survived successive media format transitions from LPs (and a few CDs) to VHS and Beta, laser disc, and again to DVD (he began to stock DVDs on the very day they hit the market) and now BluRay and HD-DVD. Uncomfortably for him, whatever the drift of formats brings, the future of physical (as opposed to electronic) media is an open question.

But, as awesome as it is, That's Rentertainment is only one facet of Geoff's vision. He co-founded Caffe Paradiso in 1998, the best (and almost only) locally-owned cafe on the Urbana side of the tracks. He's also contributed his time to the University YMCA and sold toys and comic books (more about that in a moment), but his biggest contribution to local art and business must be through supporting local music.

There was once a local band called Choo-Choo Train who wrote a song for Geoff called "Parasol." Choo-Choo Train recorded for a label called Subway in England. Inspired by small record labels with distinctive sounds, such as Subway or Bus Stop in Iowa City, Geoff formed Parasol records in 1991 to release albums of jangly pop by bands he liked. That was an optimistic time when Poster Children had been signed, Hum had emerged from the basement of the house I used to live in (my lame claim to fame), and Champaign was going to be the "next Seattle." Local music was thriving. There never was a next Seattle, to my knowledge, but we remain the only Champaign-Urbana.

Parasol started as a mail order label whose albums were sold through Goldmine magazine. Soon it moved from Geoff's basement to a warehouse on 1st Street that came with a storefront, which he filled with a comic and collectible toy store called Toon Town. At That's Rentertainment, you can still see evidence of his appreciation of fine toys and contemporary cultural artifacts. Still growing, Parasol moved to a house in Urbana that was once a furniture factory, and stayed for a few years until zoning laws restricting business in the neighborhood caught up with them. Then they moved to their current location on the obscure Griggs Street. With the collapse of such local record retail traditions as Record Service, Parasol tentatively opened its doors to offer a cool but inscrutable walk-in record-shopping experience with an eclectic collection of staff-sanctioned albums, including new and used vinyl. But most of their business is done through mail order. The online storefront seems geared to interest the individual listener in a plethora of local and obscure independent releases the Parasol staff authentically endorse.

But beyond the mail order and brick-and-mortar record sales, their main function is still as a label. As it turned out, the name Parasol was an appropriate choice — under that umbrella, they have formed a number of distinct record labels, including Mud for local music (Honcho Overload, Sarge, Absinthe Blind, etc.), Spur for local music with a country tinge (Angie Heaton, Steve Pride, Tractor Kings), Hidden Agenda for more well-known acts (The Soundtrack of our Lives), Action (solely for Velvet Crush releases), Reaction for bringing back into print albums they consider important (The Action, Richard Lloyd), and, recently, Arietta — a classical music label founded to bring back into print William Kinderman's performance of Beethoven's Diabelli Variations. The story comes full circle with the new label for children's music: Choo-Choo Train.

A source in the local music scene (a talented singer we'll call "Deep Throat") tells me that local musicians are not unanimous in their appreciation of Parasol's practices with regard to supporting or compensating local artists. But this is not too surprising: art and commerce have an unhappy marriage, and artists and musicians are rightfully emotionally invested in their life's work. My impression is that the stereo cities are certainly the better for Parasol's work archiving and promoting the local scene. Their presence also allows a handful of happy local musicians to make rent doing work they believe in. I rely on their presence as one of the only record stores around. But nobody's getting rich. In fact, Geoff is a bit discouraged that he seems to have chosen two businesses that are seriously endangered by web-delivered digital entertainment options — music and video — but it's hard to imagine he'll give up trying to make a go of it one way or another with the art he loves, making the community immeasurably richer in the process.

Geoff strikes me as a unique guy. He's technically an "entrepreneur," but it seems that his enterprises benefit the consumer at least as much as they do him and his employees. I know of local real estate moguls and bar owners whose rhetoric of "art," "music," "community," and "revitalizing downtown" seems to be copytalk for "profit." And some of the best local restaurants are owned by creeps. But I get no sense of such sinister, pragmatic ulteriors from the affable, loquacious, passionately nerdy Merritt.

"Now you couldn't fill the time between lunch and dinner on campus," Geoff sighs, sipping his cappuccino. It's true. And it's not just campus. Even west Champaign's Country Fair used to have a theater, bookstore, and video game arcade. I bought my first singles at a drugstore there, where a dollar store now sits. There is no culture west of State Street, south of Bradley. Lincoln Square was once thriving, and even boasted a branch of C-U's now defunct premier record store Record Service. Even Sunnycrest on Philo once looked like a place to stop. When I was 14, a day on campus was like a trip to the big city: trying to sneak into R-rated movies at the Coed (I was ejected from Bachelor Party), playing video games at Space Port or in the Union, and buying Thomas Dolby cassettes at Record Service or science fiction novels at Acres of Books. Long before IUB tried to hide the fact that it sells trade books, and before Follett's was given a makeover by a team of overzealous marketing majors and transformed from a college bookstore to a cheesy rave-like wrap stand, every Friday and Saturday night the auditoriums would fill with student groups screening classic or independent films. It was our own Paris, Illinois.

Geoff and I, sitting in the Espresso Royale cafe (corporate headquarters: Boston) didn't need all four of our hands to count off the businesses that remained from those days. All of the survivors are places to get beer, burgers, pizza, gyros, flowers, or tobacco. And kick-ass videos: That's Rentertainment. Well, for years I've been listening to locals bemoan "sprawl," but for the point is that if I want to get Love's Forever Changes on 180-gram vinyl, I shouldn't have to wait a week for it to arrive in the mail. Not having cool boutiques is a drag, yeah, and chain stores suck. But a large, secular university campus where you can't shop for books or records is just Soviet. That's like a dry Oktoberfest.

Merritt recently came across a campus business guide circa 1987, and with wistful nostalgia, posted it online.

And, looking forward, here is his list of locally-owned businesses to support.