Over the past few months, we’ve been working on getting a real grip on what we’re going to do better in 2015. Improve somewhere, somehow, if we are capable of doing so. With the staff of community editors, writers, photographers, and commenters, we have built up this thing over the years. We are still coming to terms on what that is exactly.
The photo you see above was taken of some of our staff members from the Mayoral Debate on Sunday evening. What’s not shown in said photos is what is on our mind(s), or what we discussed at our Editor’s Meeting last night.
“What the hell are we doing with our lives?”
Seriously, we are pretty much at our wit’s end with this place. We’re not talking about Champaign-Urbana. It’s pretty cool, I guess. Above average? I suppose we can leave it at that. There’s a lot of stuff we’d change, sure, but how are we capable of doing that? We’re just people that live here, sleep, go to work, eat, sleep, repeat. That’s our lives as human beings on the whole. Not very exciting.
In reality, us being fed up with this whole Smile Politely thing is what we’re really talking about.
Yeah — us. Ourselves. We are really, really through with dealing with one another, and producing this magazine. I mean, we kind of half-assed our way into admitting we we’re the worst last year around this time. There just comes a time when we realize that we are the worst.
What are the stages of grief again?
- Denial and Isolation: We started by denying the reality of the situation. This is a defense mechanism in order to shield ourselves from the reality that we’re pretty washed up.
- Anger: Why did we waste all of this goddamn time doing this thing? Eight years? Seriously? Wow, what a complete waste of time. We even tried to publish a print magazine at one point? Jesus Christ.
- Bargaining: We should have done something earlier than this. Why didn’t we? Why didn’t someone from the community tell us? Maybe if we would’ve been better somehow, some way, things could be different?
- Depression: Utter sadness, regret, and self-loathing. We could’ve been spending all of this time with the people we love and the people that are important in our lives. Instead, we’ve been publishing articles and sharing our words. What gives us the right?
- Acceptance: We just need to accept that the end is here, and accept that as a team, we just don’t want to hang out with each other anymore. Plain and simple.
This isn’t a scenario where our jerseys are getting hung up in any banners anywhere. There’s no mural or statue or something else to commemorate anything we’ve done over the years. What are we doing here?
What it comes down to is that we’re just wasting our time. Can’t we just move on and get on with our lives? Why keep giving a shit? We’re not professionals, and we’ve never claimed to be, but I think it’s time we just stop kidding ourselves and leave this up to the true pros. We put out some calls for editors, and we end up being friends by default — doesn’t that seem forced? Don’t normal people just hang out with their significant others and friends that they’ve met organically along the way? Sheesh.
We’re not smiling (politely) at all.
