The Dapper Crapper: Dec. 16
With all the character that comes along with a culturally vibrant community like Champaign-Urbana, we can often overlook the more utilitarian features we see day in and day out. But C-U’s restrooms, wash basins, lavatories, water closets and powder rooms are all a shining feature of our community’s fabric, even if they do not literally shine. Smile Politely decided to look closer at the matter at hand (in the bowl?) to showcase a few of these porcelain playgrounds in the first installment of the series the Dapper Crapper.
First up, the basement restroom of University of Illinois School of Art and Design:
Rating: Crapper
Although I did chuckle a the “lol poetry” tag, my vote is undoubtedly crapper. While sometimes mildly amusing drawings are abundant, the restroom is dominated by laughably horrific tags and mediocre cartoons. Is this not the art school? Where is the art? Or more appropriately, why in the hell are you bringing paint into the bathroom anyway? Do you really spend that much time in there?
Next up, Guido’s:
Rating: Crapper.
While I must admit it was one of the cleaner facilities, it has the color scheme similar to what I imagine Martha Stewart’s prison cell would look like.
Next, we have Mike N Molly’s:
Rating: Dapper
The restroom is always clean, encourages graffiti, and the local bands that frequent have certainly given it a unique charm. And that tuxedo-inspired color theme? Totally dapper.
And finally, the University of Illinois Erlanger Residence:
Rating: Dapper
The Erlanger Residence was originally designed for a dance professor in 1964. There is a ton of natural light from the huge windows but virtually no privacy due to open channels in the floor next to the toilet and shower. So be loud, be proud and consider yourself lucky if your cheeks grace the hippest place to pop a squat in Urbana.
Do you know of a particularly pleasant potty? Are you partial to a peculiar pooper? Let us know and we’ll investigate.
10 comments
These crappers look a little gender specific, friend. Maybe venturing into some unisex and ladies’ rooms will dapper up this page.
Go to the Brewery and note that there are TWO women’s rooms and only one men’s room. I patron this bar solely because it delights me to see men waiting in line for the toilet while the women saunter on by.
DC
Re: The Brewery
The men’s room at the Brewery has both a urinal and a toilet. At any other bar, there wouldn’t be a problem having two guys urinating at a time, but for some reason guys refuse to do this at the Brewery and there ends up being a line as a result. I don’t understand it.
Mica
I have it on very good authority (=my eyes and literacy) that the ladies of the Foreign Languages Building (1st floor) like to wax poetic about a wide range of subjects while doing their business.
Well-spoken they are not, but loquacious, yes.
I can’t believe this finally happened!
Justin Hedrick
you know what bathroom i greatly enjoyed? third floor at parkland colleges library. sure, it was just a run of the mill multi stall, but it was great: quiet and clean.
the problem was that i started boasting about it and then all my friends started using it . . .
During my undergraduate days, I remember that the elevators at Illini Tower were a popular choice as a public restroom. Perhaps they could get an honorable mention?
Timbo
The bathroom at Hubers has a working stoplight attached to it that turns from green to red when the occupant locks the door.
Thats fucking dapper.
the women’s room at mike n’ molly’s has chalkboards on the walls… we write inspirational messages to each other.
Jefe
If you know anyone who works at the News-Gazette, you should have them take you on a tour of the bathrooms in the lunchroom. The men’s room features stairs and the women’s has a carpeted area with a sofa and floor length mirrors. I always like climbing stairs to get to a toilet, it makes it seem more serious. I used to work there and thought the men’s room was pretty cool so I finally decided to see what the womrn’s restroom was like. Rest assured, I made sure it was unoccupied during my tour.
Nik
We write inspirational messages on the men’s room wall, too. “Take Care” is pretty effing inspirational.
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