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Week One: Be here now.

I had been planning The Yoga Experiment for weeks, but on Sunday evening I started to get a little scared. A momentous task was ahead of me. Yoga almost every day for a year, and a weekly column about it? Knowing myself, and my flaky tendencies, I wondered if I had set myself up to fail.

Nevertheless, I was still excited to get on the mat for the first time the next day. I shaved my legs, washed my black stretchy athletic pants, painted my toenails a bright cherry red (red is the color of the root chakra [right], which is located at the base of your spine. It represents rootedness and groundedness in physical reality.) and went to bed early. I could barely sleep. If my life were an endless summer of sloth and irresponsibility, then the next day was the first day of school.

Monday morning's class was Hatha yoga, which focuses on holding challenging postures, or asanas, for longer periods of time. It was a good first class: difficult but not overwhelming. I knew that my body was in bad shape in terms of flexibility, but I hadn't realized to what extent. Sitting at a 90-degree angle with my legs straight out in front of me was uncomfortable; forget trying to bend over them and touch my toes. My hamstrings were screaming at me constantly. I was also surprised at how tight the muscles and fascia in my neck were. Jenna, the instructor, made sure to always tell us modified versions of each asana, to make them either simpler or more difficult, which was awesome, because I would have felt lost otherwise. After I went home to eat lunch and shower, I felt so floaty and good. This must be the exercise high that I'm always hearing people talk about? I wanted more.

Tuesday was a flow class, and it was a little tougher. The first portion of the class focused on vinyasas, or a sequence of movements between different asanas. The most popular vinyasa is the Sun Salutation, which features Downward Dog, Upward Dog, Plank, Chaturanga, and Forward Bends, among others. We would move between about twelve asanas in the course of two to three minutes. Hayli, the instructor, was great, and she coached us through each movement, reminding us of small corrections to make sure no one was working too hard or incorrectly. Even so, at one point during a Warrior pose, I forced my shoulders together further than I should have, and ended up with a tension headache. Later, it was relieved slightly by a hot shower and a cup of tea, but I was hurtin' for the rest of the day.

Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday were all similar flow classes. By Friday, it was staring to feel like The Hamstring Show: everything I tried to do was impeded by the tight muscles in the back of my legs. I made adjustments constantly. My first week was an interesting experience; it can be humbling to be in a room full of accomplished yoginis who can contort themselves in ways I probably never will be able to. (After all, there are limits to everyone's limberness.) In the end, though, I think I will be taking away something greater than increased flexibility.

I've always struggled with mindfulness meditation. It makes sense in theory: doing nothing, clearing your mind, and just noticing what is going on around you. Dogs may bark in the distance, that's ok. Your neighbor might be mowing his lawn, that's ok. Your ankle might be in pain from digging into the wood floor, that's ok... don't let your mind comment on it or label it, just notice. When you actually get down to the business of meditating, though, it isn't that simple. The "monkey mind" starts up, reminding us of that mean thing we said to our friend the other day or that we need to do the dishes, or fantasizing what your cottage will be like when you finally get your shit together and move to Ireland.

But in yoga, mindfulness just happens. I don't mean that you must focus on your body or you will lose your balance, it just happens automatically. When I enter the classroom, everything is a blur for the next hour and a half. There is nothing on my mind other than, "that hurts!" or "that feels good!" After the class is finished, my mind is clear and I feel like I can really breathe again. I'm learning how to be OK where I am, not comparing myself to other people in class, and just being right there, in my body, totally sucking at yoga, but trying my best. Now, how do I apply this to other areas of my life?

One last thing. Ever since I started eating better and trying to become a better person a few weeks ago, my phone magically started ringing. Clients that I haven't seen or talked to in months all of a sudden wanted to come get massages again. New clients appeared out of nowhere. I have not done any advertising. This might have something to do with the fact that it is now at the end of January and people are back in their normal stressful flow, so I am more needed. But, I also like to think that in my quest to become a more whole person, it has caused other things to come together in the universe and fall into place. Very cool.

On Friday, I was administering a massage, and I looked down at my bicep. There was a little baby muscle popping out that hadn't been there the week before. Woot!

3 comments

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Katherine Kelley

#1

Gillian, you’re a wonderful writer. I am so proud of you too- I need a lesson in your will power…or maybe your inspiration will be motivation enough!!

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Ken Draznik

#2

That was inspiring and entertaining. I think I feel better just from reading it.

emma reaux avatar featured_post

emma reaux

#3

What a wonderful and eloquent article. I’ve been doing flow yoga about once a week for over a year now, and a least one sun salutation every morning, yet I have never actually stopped to think about it and understand it in the way you wrote here. From the “floaty” feeling to the unrealized automatic mindfulness—it’s all so true! Since I use yoga as a recovery from biking and running, I never have given it the credit and appreciation it deserves. Thanks for opening my eyes to all the work—physical and mental—that goes into yoga, I can’t wait for my next class and your next piece!


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