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Bubble City Meets Cloud City

starwars1.jpgWhen I was a kid, I loved Star Wars. I had pretty much every collectible known to man. I had the movies, the soundtracks on vinyl, the action figures, bed sheets, curtains, talking Ewoks…all of it. My first word as a baby was “Yoda.” I had a severe mental complex that had me thinking that I was actually Luke Skywalker bulls-eying womp rats on Tatooine for much of my childhood. I lived and breathed Star Wars.

I eventually grew out of my SW phase and moved on to more sophisticated movies like The Wizard and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but every now and then, my brain will snap and I’ll see the world in Star Wars vision again. This week, I took a hard look at the Champaign-Urbana local music scene and made stunning comparisons of people in our local universe to people in the galaxy far, far away.

1. Larry Gates / Master Yoda

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Yoda was one of the most respected and revered Jedi in the galaxy; Larry Gates is one of the most respected and revered musicians our town has witnessed. Just like Yoda, he saw the fall of the local music scene on Green St., but returned as an unstoppable force to bring people back to downtown Champaign.

2. Krukid / Boba Fett

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If you’ve never performed alongside, opened for or headlined Krukid, then you’re not a real musician. Like the most infamous bounty hunter of all time, Krukid has rubbed shoulders with almost anyone local who has talent.

3. Todd Hunter / C-3PO

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Threepio is fluent in six million forms of communication. Todd Hunter is as fluent in local music trivia. For years, Todd has interviewed countless artists and has seen more local music shows than anyone. Still, no one knows what this guy does for a living.

4. Dave Dickey / Droopy McCool

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Dave and Droopy actually both played for Jabba once.

5. Matt Harshbarger / Jabba the Hutt

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Harsh, a business man, promoter, gangster and emcee. Jabba, a businessman, promoter a gangster and emcee. They’ve gotta be related.

6. John Hoeffleur / Han Solo

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Han never wanted to be a hero, but always seems to find himself in the weirdest of situations. Just like Han, John never wanted to be known as a one of the kings of the scene. This rebel scum just wanted to smuggle his spice all day.

7. Tom Grassman / Chewbacca

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Seriously, this guy has got a lot of hair.

8. Ward Gollings / Darth Vader

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Feared across the city and being known for ending music careers, Darth Ward rules the local music scene with a dark hand.

9. Brandon T. Washington / Mace Windu

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Well, it’s Brandon T. Washington! I mean come on!

10. Michael “Guido” Esteves / Greedo

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Not because their names sound similar, but because we’re told by many women that he always “shoots first.”

11. Illini Media Company / The Galactic Empire

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Let’s face it. They control what we hear, what we read, what we see and even what think. They own you, everything that you own and this town—until the Rebel Alliance forms.

8 comments

username

Han Solo

#1

Who you calling scruffy-looking?

Self-serving but I like this - very, very much.  Good one Nate.

username

Han again

#2

Meaning it serves me so of course I like it - a great compliment to be cast as Han.

username

mundaywas

#4

That is…weird. We just think alike…Mike.

username

bozak

#5

please to make follow up article with more comparisons.

princess leah

jabas right had man (bib fortuna?)

jabas little pet

lando calrisian (my favorite)

mon mothma

admiral akbar

the dude with three eyes, ree-yees

that big ass monster that luke killed

the sarlack pit

username

liz

#6

man that was alright. i mean, slightly one sided, and the harsh metaphor was fucking harsh. and really do you need to be boosting john hoeffleur’s ego like that, seriously???

username

jabba the harsh

#7

[url=“http://a799.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/94/l_66114d7a6f0f0058f565bb3b9e2b2dce.jpg”]
forgot an important one[/url]

username

http://openid.aol.com/LucidLibra

#8

Bahahahahaaaa!!!

Nice, Nate. Honestly, if someone can’t find the humor in all of this, then they really need to lighten the hell up.

Kudos to Nate for making this one good, kudos to the musicians that can recognize the humor in this, and last but certainly not least, kudos to harsh for the comparison on Nate Jones. Word.


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Most Recent Music Comments

{username}

I was all set to pounce on this, but it’s the truth.  There used to be bands in town I was afraid of, like I’d have a heart attack during their set.  There are still some great bands, but they’re pretty and dainty and low in cholesterol. …

{username}

I will be at Danu this evening. And seeing as tomorrow - St. Pat’s - is my birthday, I will be celebrating with tons of green and fun!

{username}

Big Blue will actually be on 6-9, despite what is posted elsewhere. Then, hightail it over to Bentley’s!

John Steinbacher avatar

Ahh - good point - I will plug them in the appropriate sections.

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Yeeee! This sounds so fun! Any word on covers for any/all of these? Maybe SP could spring for punch cards and some discounts if we make it to all, eh?  

{username}

...and given the lack of smiley emoticons i chose to employ, that reads far more sarcastically than i ever intended (my apologies).  i actually find this to be a great article and an interesting discussion, seriously : )

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Once it leaves the basement, it is then called what? hmmm…....could it be mainstream? accessible? appealing on a mass-level? POP???  Quickly it will become a fad, over-saturate the media, and piss people off.  Then everyone can write articles based on how that shit sucks, too.  chickens are…

John Steinbacher avatar

In general, I think music is much more interesting now than in 1995. I definitely am very glad contemporary music has expanded beyond the four-piece rock lineup that dominated much of the 90’s. The point of the above isn’t so much about a sound or an instrument…

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{username}

bhrama- thanks for the promo. it is true, crane and badger will be playing on friday at mike and mollys w/ the chemicals and tractor kings. we will be playing first. show starts at 10pm. come on out. rock will be had.

Most Recent Comments

Timbo avatar

Wow, great article.  I wish you the best in your endeavors and hope you have a nice trip.

Seth Fein avatar

Um. Yeah — check out that “General Disclaimer” at the bottom of the article, folks.

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You’re right!  Every runner, in my opinion, is a real runner.

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Nice, killer work pretty man…the channeled, one sided collaborated rhyming poem.  An oft forgot genre.   The ruckus was felt even here in my living room, which is normally a safe haven from ruckus.    

{username}

wait, I was commenting on the wrong thing - sorry - he’s actually a gigantic sellout but who really knows what all this is about.

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That settles it… Im going.

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I wonder with Griffey if he’s not in game shape enough to play a significant number of minutes.  If you look at his minutes played this year, he’s never played a starters minutes.

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