Bubble City Meets Cloud City
When I was a kid, I loved Star Wars. I had pretty much every collectible known to man. I had the movies, the soundtracks on vinyl, the action figures, bed sheets, curtains, talking Ewoks…all of it. My first word as a baby was “Yoda.” I had a severe mental complex that had me thinking that I was actually Luke Skywalker bulls-eying womp rats on Tatooine for much of my childhood. I lived and breathed Star Wars.
I eventually grew out of my SW phase and moved on to more sophisticated movies like The Wizard and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but every now and then, my brain will snap and I’ll see the world in Star Wars vision again. This week, I took a hard look at the Champaign-Urbana local music scene and made stunning comparisons of people in our local universe to people in the galaxy far, far away.
1. Larry Gates / Master Yoda
Yoda was one of the most respected and revered Jedi in the galaxy; Larry Gates is one of the most respected and revered musicians our town has witnessed. Just like Yoda, he saw the fall of the local music scene on Green St., but returned as an unstoppable force to bring people back to downtown Champaign.
2. Krukid / Boba Fett
If you’ve never performed alongside, opened for or headlined Krukid, then you’re not a real musician. Like the most infamous bounty hunter of all time, Krukid has rubbed shoulders with almost anyone local who has talent.
3. Todd Hunter / C-3PO
Threepio is fluent in six million forms of communication. Todd Hunter is as fluent in local music trivia. For years, Todd has interviewed countless artists and has seen more local music shows than anyone. Still, no one knows what this guy does for a living.
4. Dave Dickey / Droopy McCool
Dave and Droopy actually both played for Jabba once.
5. Matt Harshbarger / Jabba the Hutt
Harsh, a business man, promoter, gangster and emcee. Jabba, a businessman, promoter a gangster and emcee. They’ve gotta be related.
6. John Hoeffleur / Han Solo
Han never wanted to be a hero, but always seems to find himself in the weirdest of situations. Just like Han, John never wanted to be known as a one of the kings of the scene. This rebel scum just wanted to smuggle his spice all day.
7. Tom Grassman / Chewbacca
Seriously, this guy has got a lot of hair.
8. Ward Gollings / Darth Vader
Feared across the city and being known for ending music careers, Darth Ward rules the local music scene with a dark hand.
9. Brandon T. Washington / Mace Windu
Well, it’s Brandon T. Washington! I mean come on!
10. Michael “Guido” Esteves / Greedo
Not because their names sound similar, but because we’re told by many women that he always “shoots first.”
11. Illini Media Company / The Galactic Empire
Let’s face it. They control what we hear, what we read, what we see and even what think. They own you, everything that you own and this town—until the Rebel Alliance forms.
9 comments
Han Solo
Who you calling scruffy-looking?
Self-serving but I like this - very, very much. Good one Nate.
Han again
Meaning it serves me so of course I like it - a great compliment to be cast as Han.
Mike Ingram
as a youngster i revered luke skywalker but as i got older i realized that he was just a little whiny bitch and that han was the cool one.
but to be cast as yoda is a true compliment.
do or do not - there is no try.
mundaywas
That is…weird. We just think alike…Mike.
bozak
please to make follow up article with more comparisons.
princess leah
jabas right had man (bib fortuna?)
jabas little pet
lando calrisian (my favorite)
mon mothma
admiral akbar
the dude with three eyes, ree-yees
that big ass monster that luke killed
the sarlack pit
liz
man that was alright. i mean, slightly one sided, and the harsh metaphor was fucking harsh. and really do you need to be boosting john hoeffleur’s ego like that, seriously???
jabba the harsh
[url=“http://a799.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/94/l_66114d7a6f0f0058f565bb3b9e2b2dce.jpg”]
forgot an important one[/url]
http://openid.aol.com/LucidLibra
Bahahahahaaaa!!!
Nice, Nate. Honestly, if someone can’t find the humor in all of this, then they really need to lighten the hell up.
Kudos to Nate for making this one good, kudos to the musicians that can recognize the humor in this, and last but certainly not least, kudos to harsh for the comparison on Nate Jones. Word.
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Sorry for the delay on links, folks! Article now formatted in the way it was intended to be presented! Have a great 4th!
Here is a link to Laurence’s blog. His writing is at least as good as his food. http://www.thislittlepiggy.us/
“There are no to finer words in the english language than “encased meats” my friend.“
Part 2 will run Monday, and Part 3 will run Tuesday. Enjoy your holiday weekend!
nicely done Mr. Johnson.
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...faith in humanity restored. Thanks E.
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