Saturday, June 14, is the grand opening of the new Legends Golf Course located at 4551 Nicklaus Dr. (off Staley Road between Windsor and Curtis) in Champaign.
I don’t know about you — maybe you’re one of those insane golfer types so you might be delirious and giddy that there is yet another golf course opening in C-U. But I am not. I’m mad as hell. I really hate golf. I loathe it. Of all sports, I despise golf more than any other. Why? Not only is golf a huge waste of time, but it is a gross waste of land.
Look at the map below of Champaign-Urbana. Do you see those huge green, cancerous lesions that are eating away at our community? Those are golf courses, my dear readers, and they must be stopped before they consume our entire civilization.
I really can’t believe no one is doing anything about this. The Green Menace known as golf is destroying our planet a heckuva lot faster than global warming. But nobody seems to care. We’re all just idly sitting back like we’re on drugs watching our neighborhoods disappear.
Mark my words. They laughed at Al Gore fifteen years ago when he warned us about global warming. They thought he was a nut. Now, he’s an Academy Award winner. It will be a similar story for me and golf courses. You might not take me seriously now, but in another decade I’ll probably have a Tony for my efforts to save the world. At least an Obie.
Think about it. Is it moral and right to use such obscene amounts of acreage just so a bunch of wealthy white guys can stroll around in their khaki shorts and polo shirts as they try to sink their meaningless little white balls into a cup? Isn’t there something better that could be done with this land? Like — I don’t know — use it to build houses for the homeless or some goody-goody crap like that?
Now, I will admit, golf courses are kind of pretty with their rolling green hills of neatly manicured lawns. So why don’t we just turn them all into lovely community parks so everyone can enjoy them? Let’s put some bike trails through them and turn the sand pits into sand boxes for the kiddos. Or we could turn them into amusement parks and use the golf carts for go carts.
One thing is for sure — something has to be done about this growing problem.
Well, I’m not waiting around for my home to become the 18th hole. I’m takin’ it to the streets right now. Consider this article an anti-golf petition. If you want to help stop the Green Menace, then simply leave a comment and express your willingness just to say no to golf courses.
Right on!
Comments (10)
Wednesday, June 11, 2008 11:31 AM
I don't even know where to begin with this.
First of all, the new golf course isn't even a full 18 holes, it's only 9 holes and they are mostly par 3s (not that you know or care what those are) thus making it much smaller than the other courses in town. You might have mentioned this in your opinion piece but who cares about facts I guess. And yeah, lets convince the business person(s) who is looking to make a buck (right or wrong) to spend millions on housing for the homeless. Sounds very likely. Also, where is the proof golf courses (which have been around for hundreds of years mind you) are "destroying our planet?" I could hear an argument about putting them in deserts like Las Vegas, Arizona, or Dubai, but then again everyone who lives out there is taxing the environment a hell of a lot more than us living here in the Midwest one way or the other. Last but not least, there were no "neighborhoods" that dissappeared in any of the places where the most recent golf courses have been put in the C-U area (this goes back until at least late 70s and Lincolnshire Fields). Just undeveloped land. Guess what happens after you put a golf course on undeveloped land. Neighborhoods pop up. Huh, imagine that.
At any rate, there are plenty of parts of Champaign-Urbana that are golf course free and they are very easy to avoid (yes even Champaign Country Club) if you don't want to think about them. Different strokes for different folks as they say and come on, it isn't 1950 anymore. Go to the U of I golf course and see that it isn't just crusty old white guys playing golf. Stereotyping is such and ugly thing.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008 11:37 AM
Shit, I just saw one of the tags of this was humor. Oh well, back to work.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008 12:37 PM
Humor or not - there is a point here. Golf courses may not eat up residential neighborhoods (at least not usually - I'm sure there's a case out there where a house or two were in the way and got leveled), they do eat up animal habitat and that little thing called FARM LAND.
Also, the highest per acre pesticide and herbicide run-off in the United States comes from lawns - and a golf course is like a lawn on steroids when it comes to pesticide and herbicide use. And what about irrigation? I know its hard to imagine with our current flooding issues, but this area does experience droughts. Grass doesn't grow that way on its own.
All other points aside, do we really need six golf courses (Urbana Golf and Country Club, Stone Creek Golf Club, Lincolnshire Fields Country Club, Champaign Country Club, UofI Golf Course, and whatever this new one is named - not to mention the UofI's plan to build a new golf course for itself between Windsor and Curtis - don't think that has been forgotten just because they haven't brought it up in awhile) in a city this size?
Not likely.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008 5:34 PM
go ahead and complain on a web-site, complain on a blog, but all that will do is lead to ever more wasted complaints.
Go before the city and tell them how you feel. A blog, this site, or the internet for that matter wont back your words up with action - you have to do that.
Unless you follow up your talk by walking the walk then whats the point?
like jeff said - I saw the humor tag....but I didnt find so much humor in it to make me feel like this was anything beyond your opinion (man) with a side order of sarcasm.
thanks for sharing, next step: action.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008 9:34 PM
not that i don't agree that (most) golf courses are a waste of resources, and a huge contributing cause of water pollution, etc...
but, instead of wasting our time with your pointless and asinine complaining, and pointing fingers at people who obviously aren't as intelligent, enlightened, and ever so humbly empathetic to the less fortunate as you are, (church leaders with expensive houses, the county market, and now prospective golf course developers) perhaps you could write some articles about all of the great local organizations who *are* building houses for the homeless and doing other "goody-goody crap." i'm sure you know of a lot of them since you contribute so much of your *own* time and money to them.
seriously. check yourself.
Thursday, June 12, 2008 7:51 AM
Well -- I wouldn't say this is a "waste of time" as you call it, Gilly. After all, you took the time to read it, respond, and and challenge Ryan to show us how HE is contributing.
It is perfectly legit, this kind of column, and is really the point of opinion pieces, eh?
To simply push the buttons and get people talking — that's the idea!
I, for one, enjoy golf. And I am not old, rich or white. (Ok - I am white, but at least I am not a WASP.)
Sure, the courses contribute to the polluting of our world, but, what doesn't? I think that as long as we enjoy our "bad habits" in moderation, well, we're doing our best.
Thursday, June 12, 2008 5:32 PM
I have been kind of a cantankerous curmudgeon lately. Perhaps I will try to be more sunny next time. After all, summer is upon us. ;)
Thursday, June 12, 2008 10:17 PM
ryan -
i realize the purpose of your column is in part humor, and your writing is designed to rile people up... i'm afraid i took the bait and went a little bit overboard. i wanted to express my frustration, but instead i only perpetuated the negativity, and for that i am sorry. perhaps you have your reasons for being curmudgeonly, i just hope that you can channel your healthy skepticism into something more positive. :)
Thursday, July 3, 2008 10:59 PM
I admit it was a funny article, but when did this become the old USSR you commies? :)
The whole thing reads as if there is a central authority ("we") that assigns land. Every citizen should get two bags of grain too, right?
As far as I know, none of the CU golf courses resulted due to government action, no houses for the poor were leveled, and judging by my view, there is still plenty of land left. When we run out of land, the golf course owners will be able to fetch a nice price for their land from developers. I would bet the farmland displaced occurred only because the farmer was bought out at a nice price, but no one seems to blame the farmer, right?
If golf is so bad, I guess the county could try to block the development, but that seems a little unfair - we should limit the sizes of people's yards while we're at it... darn dog owners and their big lots...
Thursday, July 10, 2008 12:08 PM
Please give George Carlin his due if you are going to blatantly rip off one of his comedy routines and publish it as your own!