Category > The Campus Wit
Dearest Reader. I am steadfast, and remain, The Campus Wit. It’s that time of year again. The season that brings joy to the hearts of humanity. From the young in age to the young at heart, no one can deny the power of Girl Scout Cookie season. From what I can gather, however, Girl Scout Cookies have no set season. I’ve seen them pop up during the sticky glow of summer, but I have also spotted them when the air …
Hello, dear friends. As always, I remain the Campus Wit. Being somewhat of a misanthrope, I often feel the need to look back and find time periods where the state of humanity was not as dire as it is today. In my enthusiasm for history, I often belittle today’s culture by comparing it to the past. In essence, I behave like a bitter old man despite the fact that I am in college and have no direct historical perspective beyond …
Good day, gentle reader. I remain, The Campus Wit. As of late, many people have approached me and questioned my moniker. “Why do you call yourself The Campus Wit? In three posts, you have yet to say anything remotely witty.” In response to their griping, I have conceded and decided to begin acknowledging to calls of “The Campus Curmudgeon” and “The Campus Prick” as well as “The Campus Wit.” So feel free to call me by any of these names …
Greetings Humble Reader. I remain, The Campus Wit. Winter is here again. All over campus, I see people grumbling about the cold, cursing the snow, and wearing dour frowns on their faces. Everybody is surly and curt. In fact, about a fortnight ago, I saw a man down on his knees outside of the Krannert Center screaming curses to the cold while shaking clenched fists at the sky. The majority of students have given up on their morning toiletries and …
Welcome back, faithful reader. I remain, the Campus Wit. With the bulk of the students gone, I have been able to reflect on the some of the worst aspects of Campustown. In the course of my average day, I walk through a good portion of it here at the University of Illinois. I go to classes. I give patronage to restaurants. I often duck down alleyways and enter random buildings in order to avoid running into people. I generally cover …
Hello Gentle Reader. I am the Campus Wit. I attend the University of Illinois and find absurdity around every corner. Being a wit, I feel it is my duty to satirize and bring to light many of the ridiculous and horrible facets of campus life. As I walk around campus, I actively hate every person I see. With every passing face, thoughts of derision and rancor enter into my mind. No one escapes my inner scorn. I’m not a racist. …
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hey, if hair ain’t gon’ be over your head, my jokes may as well be.
Okay, almost 24 hours later and I finally got Issac’s Summer joke. I’m an idiot.
Swap the dog for a fire pit and it sounds like you’re writing about my back yard. Very nice.
funny, as your summer begins, another Summer ends.
And that, my friend, is love. Bob, I think I still owe you for my wedding cake, served in 1998. But nevermind.
I believe the kiss between Rob and I was documented on low-quality videotape in the mid-ninties porn classic, Dirty Harry…and Sticky.
“Do I have to sign some forms, or am I just considered ‘in.’” You’re in!
Got damn, Coulter. You are the greatest.
I have no specific memory of it, but I wouldn’t be surprised if I’d kissed Mike, too—once we’d both drunk ourselves gay. And earlier this week I gave Clarence Shelley a back rub. Do I have to sign some forms, or am I just considered “in.”
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Most Recent Comments
As a liberal conservative, and a person who favors taxes & services ... and also a sense of proportion; I savor the comic potential that still exists in this comments section. I’m pretty sure we can goad more anti-government rhetoric from confirmed progressives and government employees. If…
Did the Crave Truck get a permit to park in city metered spots and city right of way? Or did they just get a permit? The city clerk’s office seems to be a suspect here, but it’s not clear they did anything wrong. Did the Crave Truck…
High-profile whining. AKA Lobbying.
it’s quite choice. looking forward to seeing how it and its patronage grow and develop over the course of the year. could be a neat little ecosystem.
“It was at this point, before he started his business, that working with city employees should’ve raised red flags…” But they didn’t because: 1) The City Clerk’s office originally mis-interpreted the rules, or are indeed re-interpreting them. 2) Champaign’s brick-n-mortar merchants hadn’t yet started whining about The Crave Truck.
Super cool! Excellent track, Excellent band.
Looking forward to trying this place!
I’m in the middle (or the beginning or end, depending on how you look at it) of re-reading Slaughterhouse Five. What a great companion column.
Get yours early. The Rave’s CD will be available at Exile and at The C-U Flea on Saturday. C-U Flea details here: http://www.smilepolitely.com/news/sp_radio_podcast_c-u_flea_arrives/
I don’t know about Gerard and a random police sargeant. My (mild) outrage is based on this: “...he worked closely with Champaign City Clerk Marilyn Banks to make sure he was licensed properly as a transient food peddler, filling out the necessary paperwork and paying a $225…
Local Yocal pretty much nails it here. I suspect there will be merchants who oppose food trucks because they arguably don’t pay their fair share to locate their trucks in high traffic (high rent) areas. The food trucks take away business from rent payers, park in city…
Oh nice! I’d totally vote for Matt Campbell!
“Smile Politely sports writer announces candidacy for city government.”
I also got to visit Big Grove Tavern during the soft open and definitely enjoyed the pork belly the most of all the dishes I sampled. The cheesy grits and the vinegary pickled vegetables were a perfect compliment to the rich pork belly.
The Alan Partridge lookalike on the right in the first small photo has nothing to condescend to anyone about. AH HA!
Snell and the little Hitlers of the neighborhood association need to chill out. Legitimate businesses should have the freedom to exist without having to endure the slings and arrows of ignorant and misguided opposition.
represent, Matt.
Yeah, I’d agree that Transporter Room 3 is the worst house venue I’ve ever seen.
Food trucks are the start-up, small businesses of the future for those unable to afford real estate. No surprise, that merchants who pay rent, utilities, and maintenance on a property would despise the traveling competition. Or developers who build more empty retail spaces would want to close…
Not so much far-right Tea Party as a balanced, moderate viewpoint between letting businesses succeed and protecting society with reasonable regulations. In spite of what the city reps are saying, the interpretation of policy on this issue certainly has changed. Letting a business start up under one…
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I’m in the middle (or the beginning or end, depending on how you look at it) of re-reading Slaughterhouse Five. What a great companion column.