Category > The Loyal Opposition
7:15 a.m. Wake up, feel refreshed, ready to restore sanity and/or fear to our once-great nation. 7:20 a.m. Begin morning routine. Shower, stretch, meditate. In honor of the day, decide to only mutter at portrait of George W. Bush instead of yell. Only throw three darts at Sarah Palin poster. Am already feeling more reasonable. 7:45 a.m. Have breakfast of muesli and organic yogurt. Wonder if other people would be less angry if they ate healthier. Probably not. Did not work …
By now, everyone has their favorite analogy for Park 51, the not-Mosque being planned at not-Ground Zero. "It's like putting a KKK headquarters next to an MLK memorial!" "No, it isn't. It's like putting a Catholic church next to a playground!" "No, it's a Japanese cultural center next Pearl Harbor." "It's a church next to a civil rights bombing site." "It's an NRA rally after Columbine." "You don't believe in religious freedom!" "You're an apologist for terrorists!" "You're a moron!" …
I've always wondered who buys Axe. The ads for the body deodorant don't just subtly suggest that women will love you if you buy their product. They go for a more direct approach: If you buy Axe, thousands of scantily-clad, beautiful women will run you down to have their way with you.
I've done a "Super Bowl Life Lessons" column for the last few years and, to be honest, I'm beginning to wonder if the Super Bowl as a cultural spectacle has all that much more to teach us. Guys are still oafs. Violence is still funny (especially so when it involves sumo wrestlers). Talking flowers and babies are still funny. Classic rockers are still old. The main innovation this year seems to be that guys not wearing pants is funny. Perhaps …
Well, it seems the public option is suffering the same fate as an uninsured American with a major disease. It is dying. Let's review. Most civilized countries have universal health care. Countries with universal health care generally pay less money and get better care than Americans do. Health care could be available to all Americans if, instead of paying health insurance premiums, employers and employees paid about the same amount of money in the form of a health care tax. …
Science can be a trouble-maker. Occasionally it will spit out some new, revolutionary theory that questions everything we think we know. I suppose that's why so many historical conservatives have been wary of science. Over the centuries, they've had to adjust to the idea that the earth is round and revolves around the sun, that the universe is expanding rather than static, and that evolution governs biology. It's not that liberals have any stake in these things being true, it's just …
As if calling Obama a socialist, a racist, and a Hitler isn't enough, some conservatives have finally taken the gloves off. They are now openly and brazenly praying for him. The Liberty Council, affiliated with Jerry Falwell's Liberty University, has created an "Adopt a Liberal" program, and identified those in power who need to become "a good influence on our Nation's culture." So far so good, until you find out their defintion of "good influence." They seem to have reduced Christianity …
Like zombies rising from the grave, pro and anti Chief Illiniwek forces are re-gathering for this Friday's next Next Dance. The faithful are set to lurch en masse towards Assembly Hall, like angry Frankensteins in search of a purpose, to watch Chief Illiniwek dance again. The anti-Chief forces will be there to counter-protest, like the dead in The Sixth Sense, speaking to people who cannot hear them. I don't know about you, but I am tired of this debate. And …
I first ran across Stuff White People Like last year, when it was on Item #76 - Bottles of Water. Water seems like a fairly simple concept. You turn on the tap, put glass underneath, and drink. Sadly, it is not this simple for white people. Given my strong feelings about bottled water (bought from store = bad, filled at home = good), this entry called me out. Why do I make the task of drinking so water overly complicated …
Last year, a friend and I were arguing about health care. I was arguing that everyone was entitled to health care, and he was arguing that no one was entitled to health care. In an attempt to expose what he believed to be liberal hypocrisy, he told me that I should pay for his health insurance, since at the time he could not afford health insurance himself. This type of argument often happens when liberals and conservatives debate. "If you …
Most Recent Opinion Comments
hey, if hair ain’t gon’ be over your head, my jokes may as well be.
Okay, almost 24 hours later and I finally got Issac’s Summer joke. I’m an idiot.
Swap the dog for a fire pit and it sounds like you’re writing about my back yard. Very nice.
funny, as your summer begins, another Summer ends.
And that, my friend, is love. Bob, I think I still owe you for my wedding cake, served in 1998. But nevermind.
I believe the kiss between Rob and I was documented on low-quality videotape in the mid-ninties porn classic, Dirty Harry…and Sticky.
“Do I have to sign some forms, or am I just considered ‘in.’” You’re in!
Got damn, Coulter. You are the greatest.
I have no specific memory of it, but I wouldn’t be surprised if I’d kissed Mike, too—once we’d both drunk ourselves gay. And earlier this week I gave Clarence Shelley a back rub. Do I have to sign some forms, or am I just considered “in.”
Most Popular Opinion Articles (60 days)
- Feeling Hot, Hot, Hot!
- “Opposite” marriage includes fun, love, and drinking in the day
- I bet you wish you had a hat
- Politics and poker may or may not mix
- Priest suing N-G is part of Catholic splinter group
- Opening day brings drinks to the table
- Off the rails
- The desert
- A Modest-ish Proposal
- Double trouble in Coulter’s dog prison
Most Recent Comments
As a liberal conservative, and a person who favors taxes & services ... and also a sense of proportion; I savor the comic potential that still exists in this comments section. I’m pretty sure we can goad more anti-government rhetoric from confirmed progressives and government employees. If…
Did the Crave Truck get a permit to park in city metered spots and city right of way? Or did they just get a permit? The city clerk’s office seems to be a suspect here, but it’s not clear they did anything wrong. Did the Crave Truck…
High-profile whining. AKA Lobbying.
it’s quite choice. looking forward to seeing how it and its patronage grow and develop over the course of the year. could be a neat little ecosystem.
“It was at this point, before he started his business, that working with city employees should’ve raised red flags…” But they didn’t because: 1) The City Clerk’s office originally mis-interpreted the rules, or are indeed re-interpreting them. 2) Champaign’s brick-n-mortar merchants hadn’t yet started whining about The Crave Truck.
Super cool! Excellent track, Excellent band.
Looking forward to trying this place!
I’m in the middle (or the beginning or end, depending on how you look at it) of re-reading Slaughterhouse Five. What a great companion column.
Get yours early. The Rave’s CD will be available at Exile and at The C-U Flea on Saturday. C-U Flea details here: http://www.smilepolitely.com/news/sp_radio_podcast_c-u_flea_arrives/
I don’t know about Gerard and a random police sargeant. My (mild) outrage is based on this: “...he worked closely with Champaign City Clerk Marilyn Banks to make sure he was licensed properly as a transient food peddler, filling out the necessary paperwork and paying a $225…
Local Yocal pretty much nails it here. I suspect there will be merchants who oppose food trucks because they arguably don’t pay their fair share to locate their trucks in high traffic (high rent) areas. The food trucks take away business from rent payers, park in city…
Oh nice! I’d totally vote for Matt Campbell!
“Smile Politely sports writer announces candidacy for city government.”
I also got to visit Big Grove Tavern during the soft open and definitely enjoyed the pork belly the most of all the dishes I sampled. The cheesy grits and the vinegary pickled vegetables were a perfect compliment to the rich pork belly.
The Alan Partridge lookalike on the right in the first small photo has nothing to condescend to anyone about. AH HA!
Snell and the little Hitlers of the neighborhood association need to chill out. Legitimate businesses should have the freedom to exist without having to endure the slings and arrows of ignorant and misguided opposition.
represent, Matt.
Yeah, I’d agree that Transporter Room 3 is the worst house venue I’ve ever seen.
Food trucks are the start-up, small businesses of the future for those unable to afford real estate. No surprise, that merchants who pay rent, utilities, and maintenance on a property would despise the traveling competition. Or developers who build more empty retail spaces would want to close…
Not so much far-right Tea Party as a balanced, moderate viewpoint between letting businesses succeed and protecting society with reasonable regulations. In spite of what the city reps are saying, the interpretation of policy on this issue certainly has changed. Letting a business start up under one…
Facebook
Twitter
Full Site
I’m in the middle (or the beginning or end, depending on how you look at it) of re-reading Slaughterhouse Five. What a great companion column.