This past week, John McCain's post-Palin bounce began to fade. Reality smacked everyone in the chops: no matter how you vote, your portfolio just shrunk. The sudden lightness in the purse corrected the "all Sarah Palin, all the time" coverage. A lot of news outlets are talking about an actual issue, now. It's amazing how money can motivate.
But before the Lehman/Merrill-Lynch/AIG trifecta, party political commentators continued to flaunt the red herring, "you hate Sarah Palin because she's a woman." That's silly. We hate — or rather, fear — Sarah Palin because she's stupid.
Last week, the UPS guy delivered a package for Anthony again. Anthony lives on the next street over. This is the fourth time this year.
After I spent an hour searching for a phone number (UPS doesn't list in the phone book, they want you to go to their office), dialed it and waited on hold for 15 minutes, I had a conversation along these lines:
Wow, I thought the choice of Joe Biden was dull. Now I understand the strategically brilliant aspect of choosing Joe Biden: It's dull.
As a follow up, John McCain stunned us with a choice who's barely old enough to be a credible cougar. Three days later, she stunned us with the news that she's old enough to be a grandmother! Perhaps it's an appeal to the inner-city youth vote.
Last week, I compared Joe Biden to Chester Frazier. The essence: No frills — workmanlike. This week, I compare Sarah Palin to a six inch plastic doll. My metaphor remains, as always, within the Illini basketball diaspora (if only faintly).
Sean Harrington is cute. Jereme Richmond is young. Patrick Beverley exemplifies the fundamentally unprepared. They share these qualities with Sarah Palin. But no one puts it together quite so well as the anatomically and politically incorrect Little Penny.
Chester Frazier will get more minutes than anybody this year. That news may seem about as thrilling as the selection of Joe Biden to be Vice President.
Chet's playing time is necessary for the same reason that Evan Bayh didn't get the VP nomination. To remove Bayh from Indiana means the other team scores a Senate seat. To remove Chester means the other team scores, period.
Political analysts, positing the Biden choice, foresee him as Obama's attack dog. That's Frazier's role, too. They're both there to harass opponents.
When Merchandising Tool, Viacom (MTV) first arrived on cable, their programming consisted of almost nothing except promotional videos for popular music. As they began to hone their marketing skills, MTV culled and grouped videos they felt would be well-received by targeted demographics. They labeled this survey Top 20 Video Countdown.
Why the disproportionate overlapping? It's not for lack of material. Although MTV didn't start until 1981, music videos had been around since the 20s. And even in 1987, no Whitesnake video was better than Strawberry Fields Forever.
That show ruled the ratings for its target market. So naturally, there were umpteen spins-off, and variations. Soon, upping the ante, MTV began to run regular top-videos-of-all-time programs. Discriminating viewers quickly identified a tendency for MTV to include current hit favorites among the listees. That is, you could count on the "100 Best of All-Time" being pretty much the same as the "Top 20 of the Week."
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