To Force or Not to Force
Two completely unrelated things
The Husband and I just had our first “date night” this year. We went to see Wire in Chicago at the Metro, the best place in all the US — and possibly Europe — to play a show. The stage is just a tad bit bouncy, perfectly sized so you can run back and forth on it and not run into anyone else, and the sightlines are fantastic; you can see almost anyone in the audience from anywhere on stage (if the lights are shining a certain way). At least you can see anywhere in the club.
Wire was great; I love a band that can write a song with one chord and have it be so complete and powerful. I believe this band is an important common denominator of all important punk rock 80s bands: the simplicity, the ferocity, the angst.
I’m going to talk about forcing your child to do something against his or her will today. I’ve had some discussions with friends, and there seem to be two camps: the “we’re not going to force our kid into doing something he or she won’t like” and the “who cares what the kid likes” camp. I fall into the latter, because this is how I was brought up.
Now bear in mind I’m talking about a four year-old. I don’t really have a lot of experience with older children. But what my experience across the board tells me is that pretty much no child wants to ever do anything but watch TV or play video games or surf the internet… or shop. Yes there is the odd kid who really does enjoy the violin lessons or the tennis lessons, but I think for the most part, if they had their druthers, most children would prefer to sit around and not be bothered by teachers or lessons.
So, if you want to be a counselor in my camp, your job would be to explain to the child that: 1) The lesson doesn’t last the entire day, it’s over pretty quickly, 2) “You’ll thank me for this later” (that never really goes over well), 3) You need to learn a skill like this because it will make you more powerful and able to learn better, 4) Being more powerful will get you more money, more friends, and more candy in the long run, and when all else fails, 5) You will get a candy bar after your lesson.
If you employ rewards, (and I can send you plenty of links that are adamantly opposed to this method), do so with the knowledge (or hope) that you should only have to do so for the first couple of weeks of lessons. The teacher should engage the student at least a month into the lessons, enough that the student feels challenged to improve his or her skills.
My personal opinion is that it’s bad to quit something the first year (or at least, half-year) that you’ve tried it, unless there are absolute glaring signs that the teacher or teaching methodology is bad. This is something that you’ll be able to tell yourself; if you watch your child and watch how the teacher engages your child, if there’s no match, then pull the plug. There are plenty of mediocre teachers around. There are also some incredibly amazing ones too.
Anyway, that’s my plug for forcing kids to learn things against their will. The Preschooler has been involved with a wonderful children’s martial arts class in town which required only three weeks of gum packages, musical instrument lessons (three sets, first set required four weeks of pleading and candy, second set which we only lasted a month in and decided it was terrible, and third set which is proving to require small rewards each week and is probably challenging The Preschooler to his absolute limit. And watching that is kind of my reward in itself.
I did thank my dad — 20 years into my “rock” career — for making me practice the piano all those years, from the stage of the Metro. He was there watching, and I could see him.
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Curtis Orchard is always good for an hour or three, especially if you have rugrats.
eugh….I remember that sex ed class and i’m pretty sure I know the teacher you’re referring to. that place was hell.
Love the story about sex ed at the middle school. That’s what I do every day for my job—it’s so exciting to see students engaged in material many adults and parents assume is above their understanding or maturity level. Thanks for sharing! Oh, and if you…
“Rag Doll” by Aerosmith is a great accompanying song when you are throwing a tennis ball onto the floor to bother the people below you.
http://www.news-gazette.com/news/agriculture/2010-09-01/south-farms-taking-aim-birds-noise.html If U of I did any research into repelling birds, they would use a very silent but effective high output LASER instead of adding noise pollution to the already olfactory polluted area http://www.allpestco.com/2009/06/laser-bird-deterrent-or-laser-gun-vs-birds/
“I have some reading to catch up on, poolside.“ Classic.
What sticks in my neck is that most noise (unwanted sound) is a violation of the law. So why is it often so difficult to get the authorities to address the issue? Why are the anti-social elements so protected? These lowlife induviduals now seem to have the…
Spirit echoes - http://www.iainandjane.com/work/silentsound/index.shtml
People are entitled to peace and quiet. That gift has been lost and once lost is hard to regain. Anti-noise activitists fight for everyone’s right to have peace and quiet. Thanks to those that fight for our right to peace and quiet.
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Illinois has simply had no luck at all in these Mizzou games. None. I think maybe we’re do for a couple of bounces to go our way. If we get one or two (or sever or eight) breaks, I think it’s a win.
Jason, Savoy could easily join the CPL tax district, which is probably closer to most Savoy residents than the Tolono library is. But my impression is that Savoy residents as a whole don’t want to pay the cost of the CPL (Tolono’s library taxes are cheaper), even…
Sorry, but I am lagging behind on updates to the map. Also, some construction projects were delayed from their original start date. On a more positive note, I am putting together a map of haunted houses in Central Illinois. I have a few plotted already, and I…
I’ve never gotten the privilege of all the services CPL cardholders get. I just want to be able to go out of my way to drive to the CPL to check out books, pay fines, maybe buy some coffee, and enjoy the library. None of those activities…
These days, there is more to using a library than checking out books. At one time, paying into the Lincoln Trails system probably would cover the expenses incurred by other libraries in the system. Now, with Internet, videos, coffee shops, wireless Internet hubs, etc., I suspect the…
(speaking as a Savoy resident) By paying taxes to support a member of the LTLS, we are paying our “fair share” to use any LTLS library—Tolono, Champaign, Urbana, etc. This is how library systems work. The 6% of CPL’s circulation represented by Tolono users is NOT significant…
I read Timbo’s argument. I think the key word is “speculating.“
I would be interested to hear more about the “word on the street”—how are individual hauling companies fulfilling their promise to recycle?
Timbo makes a smart, sound argument. Reread it.
I joined on 09-09-09 after living here over a year, and having to listen to my dad tell me how his best friend is, like, #27 or something crazy like that, and how said friend never lived further than 50 feet from the Illini Inn while going…
And, I might add, no one is being prevented from using the Champaign library. They are just being asked to pay their fair share if they are going to use it as their primary library.
The equation is pretty simple here. If you want social services, then pay the taxes required to run those social services. These things only work if everyone puts in their fair share. As a heavy user of the Champaign Library, I say bravo to this new policy.
Curtis Orchard is always good for an hour or three, especially if you have rugrats.
What is the increased marginal cost of serving a resident of Savoy or Mahomet? I suspect negligible. What is the increased revenue to be realized by this new policy? I suspect very little. Aside from these financial aspects, what are the most probable results from this new…
Looks like you are also all members of the killer sideburns club.
Thanks for the article, Ben. I was not familiar with this band until now and even though I won’t be able to attend the show on Friday they are now on my radar. A *good* jam band is hard to find, and these folks appear to fill…
Nice article, love the Dead quote in the beginning. If they can get down here to Central FL I’ll definitely be heading out to the show. Some of my friends have finally stopped wincing when I say “jam band.“ I’ve now tried my best at more descriptive…
@Annie: Yeah, my bad. That was the best part! Drinking + memory exercises = fun @Rob: According to Ask the English Teacher, “My dictionary says ‘drunk’ is an archaic past tense of ‘drink.‘“ We’re all about the new grammar around here.
Katie, have the residents of Savoy and Tolono thought about having their taxes raised a little to help their public library expand? That’s a possibility for them. And then everybody wins.
good call on that Herring recording, Josh. Love that version of Exit Music….here’s a clip of the Cinco de Mayo show (from about six months prior). As I recall, this Shakedown went on for roughly a half hour, while getting into the Trampled Underfoot jam in the…
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Sorry, but I am lagging behind on updates to the map. Also, some construction projects were delayed from their original start date. On a more positive note, I am putting together a map of haunted houses in Central Illinois. I have a few plotted already, and I…