Smile Politely: Culture

Weekender: May 25–28

Smile Politely Editors — 2012-05-25T04:00:47+00:00

FRIDAY, MAY 25

Summer Camp Music Festival; Primus: 10:30 p.m., Chillicothe, Ill.

Don't any of my pretentious hipster friends want to drive with me to Chillicothe to see Primus? I mean, c'mon, now? It's PRIMUS! Les Claypool's old ass can still get it on, and with Larry LaLonde on the axe, you know they are going to bust out a bunch of hits from Sailing the Seas of Cheese and maybe even a cover or two from Miscellaneous Debris. What's that? No? You can't go? Or you don't want to go? Yes, yes, I realize that it's a festival of dirty, smelly trustafarians with little ambition other than to bridge the gap between noodle jams and weak Dubstep drops, but seriously! It's Primus!

What's that? You say Primus doesn't rule?! You say they are washed up? Psssshaw! I disagree my friends. I say they still bring it. And I will wade through that mess of hippie scum to see them, sleep in the car, and deal with the repercussions at a later date. Fuck it. I'm going. (SF)

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The Chambana Volunteer, May 24–31

Marsha Reardon — 2012-05-24T17:00:14+00:00

Spotlight on a Cause:

Urbana Park District

The Urbana Park District offers a variety of fun, healthy, and educational programs to thousands of local residents. The District oversees several unique facilities in Urbana, including the Dog Park, Crystal Lake, Park, and Pool, the Anita Purves Nature Center, and the Urbana Indoor Aquatic Center. Volunteers play a large role in day-to-day operations for the Park District, as well as for scheduled programming. Currently, there are openings to help coach youth soccer and to lead guided tours through the Nature Center, but there are many other possibilities and opportunities that will need to be filled depending on the time of the season. To learn more about the Urbana Park District, go here. To sign up to volunteer, email Ellen Kirsanoff or call 367-1536.

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The Rainbow Connection: May 21–27

Tracy Nectoux — 2012-05-21T13:00:15+00:00

MONDAY, May 21

WHAT: Nekromancy

WHERE: Chester Street Bar

WHEN: Monday, May 21, 9:00 p.m.–2:00 a.m.

Every Monday, DJ SorceryKid, crafts a continuous audio-visual mixshow of the latest and the greatest in dark alternative and underground dance music.

Doors: 9:00 p.m.
Cover: $2.00
Age: 19+

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Weekender: May 18–20

Smile Politely Editors — 2012-05-18T12:58:06+00:00

FRIDAY, MAY 18

Hit 9; Hit 18; any golf course around these parts

On Friday May 18, it will be 85 degrees and sunny. So, knock off work a little early and head for the links and try your best to not embarrass yourself. Fact is, I've only really been golfing for a couple years now. I grew up swinging a different kind of club, one with a much bigger area to hit a much bigger ball. Of course, it was being thrown at me at high speeds and with the chance of nose diving before it got to me, but as a result, I've been able to pick up the game with some decency.

I've now golfed on every course in the immediate area, including all three country clubs, as a result of having a few friends that take their game WAY more seriously than I do. And if you are discussing public courses, the conversation begins and ends with Stone Creek, as the bent grass and open fairways and endless sand traps makes for a challenging course. But I am partial to Lake of the Woods out by Mahomet. The greens aren't quite as nice, and the fairways could use work, but the setting out there is totally idyllic. Nary a round goes by without seeing a family of deer trotting by; birds chirp throughout the day; it's really a beauty of a course.

Today, I'll be golfing with Mayor Don Gerard, City Councilman Kyle Harrison, and the Diner King of Champaign, Tony Pomonis at this very location. It's a charity outing for Big Brothers/Big Sisters, and I think it's a great cause. But honestly, I'd use any chance I can get to be outside, drink a few beers before 5 p.m. and attempt to birdie a hole on the rare occasion I hit two perfect shots that sits me around five feet from the cup. I should be able to sink that putt. It's not likely, but it's possible...

Don't Eat at the Crave Truck in Champaign, the foreseeable future

If you're like me, you like to have yourself a nice little cocktail from time to time. And if you're like me, "a nice little cocktail" and "from time to time" mean a "whole bunch of whiskey and beer" and "every night," respectively. Anyway, this weekend, if you notice after you're already ten beers in that you forgot to eat dinner, and the only thing keeping you from filling your hands with your own vomit is a deliciously prepared waffle from The Crave Truck, well, you can go fuck yourself thanks to the city's most recent interest in obscure ordinances. So now, until further notice, The Crave Truck is out of commission [except that they'll be at the Urbana Farmer's Market on Saturdays]. Of course, it's hard to say which wheel started squeaking in order to get our trusted and otherwise business friendly public officials to pay attention to this very pressing matter, but suffice it to say, for the time being you're stuck with the remaining non-mobile food purveyors until the city decides to start incentivizing entrepreneurship. (CDC)

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BEST Culture

Smile Politely Editors — 2012-05-15T11:00:56+00:00

If you thought art was subjective, then come down the rabbit hole that is BEST Culture. Basically, we just take everything that doesn't really fit into any of the other categories and shove it all together. Trees, booze, schools, dogs, charities, Ron Paul ralliers: only Smile Politely has the cojones to pretend like there is some common thread here. And then we explain to you that some of these things are better than other things. But only because they are.

Best Neighborhood Bar — My House

C-U has some nice neighborhood bars, no doubt. But the bar in My House has chairs that are always comfy, music that I like always playing on the stereo, and company that is always delightful.

At the bar in My House, the White Russians contain milk and half & half; the Bloody Marys are served with celery and lime and olives, and never contain too much Worcestershire Sauce; the limes in the gin and tonics are large and juicy, never those dry, tiny, shriveled pieces you get at most neighborhood bars.

At the bar in My House, robust, Argentinian Malbec doesn't cost $8 a glass. And ice is never added to the single malt Scotch without asking.

The bar at My House never closes, and no one blinks if I order a drink before 3:00 p.m. Everybody knows my name and they're always glad I came. Best neighborhood bar in C-U? My House. I'd tell you the address, but it’s pretty exclusive. Thus:

Best Neighborhood Bars — Honorable Mention

I have been to only four neighborhood bars in C-U: Office II, DR Diggers, Huber’s, and Icehouse. I had neither good times nor bad times at any of these establishments. Their beer selection is good; they serve various kinds of snacks (fried food; pizza); they have games and video poker. All four deserve honorable mention (Huber’s especially so for the friendly gentleman at the bar).

Neighborhood bars are places where an established clientele can go and visit with each other. We need them. They’re a public good. My spouse's favorite is The Blind Pig, which I don't think counts, but in his words, "It's residential; people live right above it." What's your favorite neighborhood bar? I am definitely open to recommendations. (TN)

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The Rainbow Connection: May 14–20

Tracy Nectoux — 2012-05-14T14:00:09+00:00

MONDAY, May 14

WHAT: Look UP

WHERE: The UP Center of Champaign County

WHEN: Monday, May 14, 6:00–7:00 p.m.

Look UP is a group for LGBTQ and ally individuals to discuss the intersections between LGBTQ identity and Christianity in a safe, supportive environment. Discussion topics include: gay bible studies, responding to hate/discrimination, finding LGBTQ-affirming congregations, and other topics important to those in attendance.

For more information, please contact Mada.

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Weekender: May 11–13

Smile Politely Editors — 2012-05-11T05:00:51+00:00

FRIDAY, MAY 11

Go celebrate President Obama kinda "coming out" about reality in Midtown Champaign, happy hour to 2 a.m.

Listen. We can debate the merits and importance of President Obama's announcement all day. I've got my opinion. You have yours. And Mitt has his. All good. But here is something: the gays exist. Yeah. They do! Lots of 'em. And thank God! Right here in Champaign, we are incredibly blessed and have an amazing amount of people and organizations and restaurants and clubs that are all, as some would say, "LGBTQ-friendly." I mean, every place in town is kinda like that, but there are a few that I can pick out without thinking twice that have been for years and years — long before they even enacted DADT, let alone repealed it.

So, my suggestion for this weekend: go out and celebrate another step in the right direction by doing a little Midtown Champaign bar/shop crawl. If you've lived here for long enough, you'll know that this part of Champaign should have Rainbow flags hanging from light poles and an annual street fest dedicated to propping up the community and its supporters.

Here's what you do:

1. Call Ippatsu immediately and try to get an appointment there. I mean, you should always do that anyway, but for the sake of continuity, go get your hair done up by Rebecca and friends over there. Wear something decent, for cryin' out loud! 73 E. Chester St., Midtown.

2. Head on over to Fiesta Cafe for dinner. It's good, decent Tex-Mex, and that chimichanga is as good as good gets. Plus, they have HUGE pours of Dos Equis on draft. Take a couple shots of tequila and get started in for the night. 216 S. First St., Midtown.

3. Cross University Ave. and take in what has to be one of the most well-designed and accommodating bars in Champaign-Urbana. Emerald City Lounge never disappoints. Their pours are big, the service is splendid, and the music is always just right. Plus, those couches? You'd think you were in Midtown Manhattan as opposed to Midtown Champaign. Bravo to them on that! 118 N. First St., Midtown.

4. Finally, dance your ass off at the original and most important place in town with regards to this movement: Chester St. Bar. And I have a confession to make. I've never even been inside. And don't go off talkin' about how I am a closet homophobe or that I secretly don't like "the gays." It's just not true. I've just never been compelled to dance. Ever. It's sad, I know. But this summer, I plan on changing that with a half bottle of Jager, and some good old fashioned persuasion by my wife, who can totally shake that ass. But you should do it. TONIGHT. C-Street has been a known commodity to the LGBTQ movement since before I was able to even understand the intricacies of how important it really is. It's a gem of a location, and something about it just screams "come in, NOW."

So there ya have it. Go on and celebrate. I know I will be doing it in some way, shape, or form. What Barack Obama did by coming out and affirming the need to make this wrong right was simply one more step in the right direction. And that should be good for a new haircut, a chimichanga, a cocktail, and a sweaty ass dance party. (SF)

I'm so proud to volunteer for this magazine that I can hardly stand it. (TN, token queer)

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The Chambana Volunteer, May 10–17

Marsha Reardon — 2012-05-10T16:36:17+00:00

Spotlight on a Cause:

Head Start

Head Start, which is a part of the Champaign County Regional Planning Commission, has had a program in Champaign since 1985. This Federal program aids child and family development, focusing on the development of children’s cognitive, social-emotional, and health readiness for kindergarten. Head Start serves families with children from birth to kindergarten age and pregnant mothers. Their local facilities care for children aged six weeks to five years.

Other than child care, Head Start offers a number of resources for low-income children and families. Head Start and Early Head Start provide services for children with special needs, health, nutrition, and mental health assessment and aid for families, and transportation services. Of their 106 staff members, 62 are teachers and 12 are family advocates. There are also a family services specialist and a mental health specialist on staff who work with families to ensure that children are receiving the care they need in and out of the classroom.

Head Start’s staff does an excellent job attending to children’s needs in and out of the classroom, and volunteers can help contribute to their success by mentoring and tutoring children at their facilities. All new volunteers at Head Start will undergo an initial interview before applying, as well as a criminal background check, have an updated physical and TB test, and be fingerprinted. A brief orientation will follow upon the start of volunteering. To learn more about how Head Start works and how you can help their program, see their website.

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Listen Up: May 7–13

Joel Gillespie — 2012-05-07T14:59:59+00:00

WHAT: "When Do Fraudulent Elections Confer Democratic Legitimacy? The Logic of Electoral Manipulation and Post-election Protest," Milan Svolik, Political Science, UIUC

WHEN: Monday, May 7 @ 12 noon

WHERE: 404 David Kinley Hall, 1407 West Gregory Drive, Urbana

Nothing like a good election-fraud discussion to kick off your week right.

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The Rainbow Connection: May 7–13

Tracy Nectoux — 2012-05-07T13:00:52+00:00

MONDAY, May 7

WHAT: Gothic Prom V: The Brass Ball

WHERE: Chester Street Bar

WHEN: Monday, May 7, 9:00 p.m.–2:00 a.m.

Thou art cordially invited to our fifth annual goth prom, The Brass Ball, to be held at the Chester Street dance hall, in the Old Towne district of Champaign, cometh the seventh day of May.

Guest musicians are Scary Lady Sarah and William Faith as The Pirate Twins. And the honourable master of ceremonies, Gregory Kveberg, shall crown the annual duke and duchess before our royal court upon the stroke of midnight.

As this is a grand steampunk themed affair, guests are encouraged to don their suits and gowns of prized distinction. This event is sponsored by C-U Midnight Assembly and IDG Productions.

For more information go here, and read our interview with DJ Randall Ellison here.

Cover: $5
Ages: 19+

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