Smile Politely. Speak Directly. A Champaign-Urbana Culture Blog

Coming into the 2008 season, Curtis Granderson’s Detroit Tigers were the odds-on pick to win the American League Central. With their addition of Miguel Cabrera, Dontrelle Willis, Edgar Renteria and Jacque Jones, the Tigers were expected to pummel opponents into submission with an offense that some commentators predicted would score over 1,000 runs. Granderson was poised to propel that offense from his leadoff spot.

Now that we’re nearly at the quarter pole of the regular season, the flukes of April should be fading away to reveal something more concrete in the American League Central. Instead, it’s a muddled race to the middle, with only 4.5 games separating first place from fifth, and no team with a winning percentage over .530 or under .400. Any analysis based on a given team’s spot in this crapshoot could be completely irrelevant by this time next week. But hey, that’s why I’m here.

Since I completely jinxed last week’s feature subject, Brian Bannister (3 IP, 7 ER, 3 HR allowed in his start last Wednesday, ERA jumped from 2.48 to 4.04), this week we’ll test the extent of my jinxing powers with Cliff Lee, who will be starting tonight for the Cleveland Indians versus the New York Yankees. The game’s on ESPN at 6 p.m., so if you have cable and some free time, check it out.

Continuing with the acclaimed series, Caucasian Darlings of the Blogosphere, this week we’ll take a closer look at Brian Bannister of the Kansas City Royals. Many of you White Sox fans probably remember Bannister’s father, Floyd, who went 50–49 for the South Siders from 1983 to 1986. Both father and son are starting pitchers who are a shade over six feet tall and around 200 lbs, but that’s where their similarities on the diamond end. The elder Bannister was a left-handed power pitcher who led the league in strikeouts with the Seattle Mariners in 1982, while the younger is a righty induces outs with a fairly pedestrian high-80’s fastball. In fact, Brian had one of the lowest strikeout rates in the league last year, his rookie season, when he struck out just a hair over 4 batters per 9 innings pitched.

Most middle relievers are faceless automatons, marching in from the bullpen to a generic nu-metal dirge to face a few hitters and disappear into the dugout. Take Mike Stanton, for example. He’s been in the major leagues since 1989, but if you asked me to pick him out of a police lineup, I’m pretty sure I’d guess Curt Leskanic by mistake. That’s what makes Pat Neshek so special: he’s turned a thankless role in the Minnesota Twins’ bullpen into a sort of cult celebrity status in less than two full years in the big leagues.

Two weeks into the season, and everything remains convoluted in the AL Central. Up is down, white is black, and the Royals are decent. Let’s make a run-through of the standings from top to bottom:

Chicago White Sox (8–5): The Sox are using the same combination so far this season that led to their World Series title in 2005: pitching and the long ball. Gavin Floyd was effectively wild on a frigid Saturday afternoon, taking a no-hitter into the eighth inning against the Tigers before combining with a couple of relievers on a two-hit shutout. A.J. Pierzynski is still tearing things up to the tune of a .412 batting average and .737 slugging percentage, both of which lead the AL. Joe Crede has also come back from back surgery to get off to a great start, hitting two grand slams already this season.

It’s a topsy-turvy AL Central after one week of play. Here are the standings as of this morning:

Chicago White Sox 5–2
Kansas City Royals 5–2
Cleveland Indians 4–4
Minnesota Twins 3–5
Detroit Tigers 0–7

The biggest surprise in the standings above is, of course, the Tigers. Detroit went into the season as the prohibitive favorite in the division, after upgrading at third base (Miguel Cabrera > Brandon Inge), shortstop (Edgar Renteria > Carlos Guillen), first base (Carlos Guillen > Sean Casey), and fourth starter (Dontrelle Willis > cracked bat > Mike Maroth). It’s much too early to give up on the Tigers, but frustration is clearly mounting in Detroit.

There’s only going to be one Opening Day this year, so that calls for a running diary of the White Sox vs. Indians clash, straight from Jacobs... er... Progressive Field. Here we go…

Pregame: Comcast brings the Nickelback the opening and Illinois couldn’t be more thrilled. Something about “The Show,” so it’s major league-ready.

Top 1st: Indians are rocking the throwback uniforms, or perhaps just a new look this season. They even have a new cap design with 100% less racist caricature. It’s good to see that C.C. Sabathia didn’t let a little thing like a Cy Young award change his conditioning program this offseason. He may have even put on a few pounds. Orlando Cabrera walked and stole second, and then Jim Thome followed with an absolute bullet into the right-center seats. No further damage for the Sox, and we’re 2-0 after a half-inning.

By the time this column runs next week, the regular season will be in session, so it’s time to make your predictions for the 2008 American League Central. Take your best shot in the comments below. Here is my blind guess:

1. Detroit Tigers (99-63)
2. Cleveland Indians (98-64)
3. Kansas City Royals (82-80)
4. Minnesota Twins (75-87)
5. Chicago White Sox (70-92)

The Minnesota Twins and Detroit Tigers, two teams headed in opposite directions, each locked up a player to a long-term contract this past week. The Twins, on the decline after a run of four AL Central titles from 2002 to 2006, signed closer Joe Nathan to a 4 year, $47 million deal. The Tigers, who have had two straight winning seasons (including a World Series trip in 2006) after twelve straight losing seasons (including a 119-loss disaster in 2003), locked up third baseman Miguel Cabrera for $152.3 million over 8 years.

Will Kansas City Royals third baseman Alex Gordon become a star? This is, to me, one of the defining questions for the near to medium future of the American League Central. While the Kansas City Royals are not ready to contend with the Detroit Tigers and Cleveland Indians for Central supremacy in 2008, they have a chance to emerge from the Central cellar for the first time since 2003.

After last week's column went up, I realized that I had done White Sox fans a huge disservice. Even though Chicago is definitely one of the blandest teams around, I totally disregarded the fact that they traded for outfielder Nick Swisher, one of the most colorful players in the game, over the winter. So, to let you Sox fans know just what you're getting, here's some fast facts on Swish:

1. He seems to be totally unable to appear in a photograph where he does not look completely goofy. His official photo on MLB.com last year is a classic, and he had the misfortune to get this picture taken during what I hope was a rookie hazing stunt.

I'm going to level with you. I'm a Twins fan, so if you're looking for fair and balanced AL Central reports, you may want to move along, dear reader.

If you have room, however, for just one more baseball column in your weekly surf, I hope that I can earn your trust and loyalty. I have no idea what sort of sports coverage you are looking for — after all, this is a primarily local arts and entertainment website — but please, use the comments section to subtly nudge my attention in the right direction.