Smile Politely. Speak Directly. A Champaign-Urbana Culture Blog

Individuals in positions of authority — especially those positions critical to our survival, such as President of the United States and Illinois Men's Basketball coach — are incessantly pestered with irrelevant questions from idiots. For some reason we, the public, allow these interrogatory distractions. Worse, we expect the dummies to get their answers.

But we can't get those answers. Presidential candidates are silenced de facto from speaking honestly, or at length — knowing they will only be ridiculed in the tabloid press. Basketball coaches are prohibited from speaking de jure — specifically, the jure of the NCAA.

As the Illinois made its run to the Big Ten Tournament Championship this March, the team was focused on British cartoon characters of the early 20th Century.

Before the tournament, coach Bruce Weber sat the team down for a motivational viewing of Randy Pausch's last lecture, which among other things, extolled the virtues of Tigger.

I guess when you're young, it's easier to watch movies without constantly questioning the director's motives, the lack of script continuity, or significant lapses in credibility. Suspension of disbelief is not required for the young, because the young believe in everything.

For example, I liked Indiana Jones & The Temple of Doom when I was thirteen. But when I was thirteen, I didn't demand that plots make sense. I didn't really demand plots, actually. I'm older now, and jaded.

I watched Temple of Doom the other day. It's terrible.