Smile Politely

Bulls Balls update

In a difficult editorial decision, Smile Politely’s editorial board decided today to shut down comments in its popular and now epic article, Bulls Balls: A Favorite Truck Decoration, originally published in May of 2008.

“At first, we thought it was funny that so many people cared so passionately about which company sells the most authentic Bulls Balls,” said Dan Schreiber, Smile Politely Editor. “However, at some point, the comments and the flame wars between owners of competing Bulls Balls manufacturers got kind of tiresome. And sad. And believe me, I know all about being tiresome and sad.”

Smile Politely wants to re-assure its audience that it isn’t afraid of hard-nosed comments and public conflict in its comments section. “WE JUST THINK 66 IS EXACTLY THE RIGHT NMBER OF COMMENT TO ENDTHIS DISCUSSON ON!!!!!!” yelled editor Joel Gillespie, ungrammatically.

Added editor Doug Hoepker, “Our magazine’s intended audience extends beyond those making decisions on Bulls Balls. It was taking over the site. We’d like to think people also come to Smile Politely to lambaste our Mountain Goats concert reviews, WPGU editorials, and restaurant criticism.”

Despite the vast quantity of information now available via the article’s comments thread about which set of Bulls Balls a consumer should buy, Smile Politely has still not made a decision about which company to purchase a set from (for the SP bicycle). “Seth Fein was leaning toward the ones with the trademark, but then Jamie Newell wanted to switch the discussion to stallion balls, as a way to generate more interest in horse racing,” reported frustrated editor Justine Bursoni. The editorial board refused to commit to a timetable to announce its official endorsement.

Adam Scott, original author of the Bulls Balls article, did not respond when asked to comment on this decision, probably because his email now filters out messages with the phrase “Bulls Balls” in them.

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