Smile Politely

Football Variety Show #3



1. (tie) Saints. Oh when the Saints — Go marching in — Oh when the Saints go marching in… 48 points and 493 yards as they decimated the number one defense in the league. Brees is on pace to throw 35 TD’s and five interceptions this season. To put it in perspective, Mark Sanchez of the Jets had five interceptions… against the Bills last Sunday.

1. (tie) Broncos. The most balanced team and the league’s best (and most charismatic) coach have put them up here. After next week’s BYE they face the Ravens, Steelers, Redskins, Chargers, and the Giants. Looks like we are going to find out just how good this team is.

3. Colts. Opponents for the next three weeks: St. Louis, 49ers, Texans. Hello 8-0.

4. Vikings. And rounding out the Four Horsemen of the Undefeated is the Favre-led Vikings. So far this season Favre has a completion rating just shy of 70 percent. That is a whole eight points higher than his whole career. He has also never been 6-0, and he has just two interceptions this year compared to the 22 he had last season. This man is like a fine wine.

5. Steelers. Ben Roethlisberger (right) threw for 417 yards with two touchdowns, and no one noticed. Their next two games are against the Vikings and at the Broncos. One of those two will not be unbeaten come the first of November.



1. Alabama. Next week’s game against Tennessee could make Tennessee’s season. Especially with the way QB Jonathan Crompton has been playing the last few games. This game will likely be a lot closer than most would expect.

2. Florida. After looking weak in every aspect of the game and only beating an unranked team, let’s go to Miss St. and face a team whom when we last faced cost their coach (Ron Zook) his job.

3. Bearcats. After a wrist sprain on Saturday it’s not sure whether QB Tony Pike will play this week. It won’t matter though, they’re facing Louisville. Nothing to see here, move along.

4. Texas. Stupid Ex-Girlfriend

5. Boise State. Blue field, blue field!!!!



  • It seems the Ravens are caught in a Catch-22. The Ravens offense is excellent behind the ball and scores rather quickly. This would be any coach’s dream. Except that its leaving their defense on the field a lot more and tiring them out. Their three losses have come by 11 combined points. I think that if the defense can get just a little bit better, this team will be frightening.
  • How is Matt Schaub of the Texans (3-3) the touchdown leader (14)? Steve Slaton is how. The QB/WR combo was 6 for 6 on passes for 102 yards.
  • Finally after five weeks, Tom Brady looks like the Tom Brady of Legend. In a ten minute span during the second quarter he threw five touchdowns. He looked very much like the man we last saw in ’07. Is it to early to dream of a Patriots/Giants Superbowl rematch?
  • I know what Michael Vick can go as for Halloween (I have to sing the song to sing the song to remember how to spell it): The Invisible Man.
  • Without a few major top of the ranking losses, Boise State doesn’t have the schedule strength to play for a national title. <Cough> Need playoffs <Cough>.
  • Mark my words, Texas will be the first to fall.
  • R.I.P Jasper Howard. Our deepest sympathies.
  • Even coach Jeff Fisher of the Titans is embarrassed, he was caught wearing a Colts jersey (above). Way to show team spirit, Jeff.



I’ll say it; it’s time for Zook to go.

He is 19-35 at Illinois; I don’t feel I need to elaborate any more on this.



Balls of Steel Award

Tennessee Titans (the whole team). They receive this award under the assumption that they have the nerve to even show up next week.

The DeLorean Award

Sam Bradford, Oklahoma. This one was really a no-brainer. If this sort of thing keeps up, the award will be renamed the “Should Have Gone Pro Award.”

The Clutch Award

Barry Church, Toledo. Church had 21 tackles against Northern Illinois along with a blocked extra point and a blocked field goal. The blocked field goal came with 37 seconds left on an attempt that would have given NIU the win.



After last week’s abysmal showing (2-2 in the pros and 1-2 in the NCAA), I will try to make up for it this week.

Season: Pro: 6-2, NCAA: 2-4

Home team in CAPS

Saints (-6) over DOLPHINS: Right now I would put the Saints over anyone, even if the spread was -10.

GIANTS (-6.5) over Cardinals: The Giants got embarrassed and poor Arizona is going to feel the repercussions of that.

Colts (-13.5) over RAMS: The Rams only average 9 points a game and the Colts have one of the top defenses. This is my “Jerry Bruckheimer Game of the Week.” (Bombs and Cheerleaders)

Patriots (-13) over BUCCANEERS: The Retro Tom Brady show continues.

Falcons (+3.5) over COWBOYS: Upset special.

Texas A&M (+21) over TEXAS TECH: A&M will lose, but not by 3 TD’s.

TCU (-2) over BYU (Home team): This one is basically a coin flip, but TCU is higher ranked so I give them the nod.

Iowa (-2) over MICHIGAN ST: Easy Money.


And for those of you MMA fans out there…

UFC 104 Bonus Picks

Lyoto Machida over Mauricio Rua: Rua was at the bottom of a long list of fighters the UFC tried to get for this fight. No way Rua wins. In fact if he makes it out of the first round I will be surprised.

Cain Valasquez over Ben Rothwell: Cain is just plain better. Rothwell is a replacement for Shane Carwin who they moved up to face Brock Lesner in 2 months.

Spencer Fisher over Joe Stevenson: You have to root for Spencer, he’s local.

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