Smile Politely

Illini Battle Buckeyes Tonight

Thad Matta can breathe a sigh of relief. The Ohio State men’s basketball coach will not be losing a freshman center for the third consecutive year. But there’s a catch. He’s going to have to keep B.J. Mullens.

Mullens, a 7-foot-1 center, gives about 70% effort for around 19 minutes per game. It’s good enough for almost nine points per outing, but only four rebounds. That would seem encouraging news for the glass-weary Frightened Illini, whose own 7-foot-1 center is also not good at rebounding.

Sadly, Ohio State (tOSU) doesn’t need Mullens on the glass. They have Evan Turner, who pulls in seven caroms per game by being faster than everyone else. They have Dallas Lauderdale, who clears five boards a game by beating opponents with his fists, raping them and then retrieving the ball from their burned carcasses.

Illinois is neither quick nor strong inside.

Lauderdale is almost as old as Greg Oden, but the Buckeye-cum-NBA center he recalls most vividly is Granville Waiters (right). Opponents spent so much time laughing at Waiters, and poking fun at his shiny dome, that they failed to realize he was personally kicking their asses. Waiters was borne of an era when people were friendlier, thuggishness was not kewl, and Rogaine was not available.

Lauderdale, whom associates claim to be in his late teens, was ostensibly not around to hear Brother Marvin’s call for peace. Consequently, he’ll have no qualm about bludgeoning the Illini to a bloody pulp.

Strangely, tOSU gets routinely trampled on the offensive glass, but fares well on defense. That’s especially odd because the Buckeyes play a lot of zone, which doesn’t allow the defender to put a body on his man when a shot goes up. For the season, opponents lead the offensive rebounding 190 to 151. The defensive rebounding is 385 to 349 in favor of the Buckeyes.

The Buckeyes are a good-shooting team, averaging 46% for the year. Clemson and Michigan (at Ann Arbor) are the only two teams to top 70 points and shoot better than 46 percent against the Illini this season. The Illini are slighter better on the year, and each team holds its opponent to around 38% from the floor. Common wisdom holds that the advantage goes to the home team. But Ohio State’s sharp-shooting white guy, Jon Diebler, is taller than our white guy. And he’s better at getting his own shot off the dribble.

Lauderdale shoots 57% from the floor, but he doesn’t shoot very often, preferring to spend his time wrestling opponents to the ground.

 


When riled, without suitable targets nearby,
Dallas Lauderdale assaults his own teammates.

 

The major offensive threat is Turner, Demetri McCamey’s high school teammate at Westchester St. Joe. He hits half his shots, and he gets them from anywhere on the floor.

Whether the home court will help the Illini depends on which Illini squad shows up. Will it be the selfless team that leads the nation in assist percentage? Will it be the disorganized team that fought among itself, and couldn’t shoot free throws at MSU Saturday?

Illinois never had a chance at MSU. They would have had to do everything right to overcome the Spartans physical prowess. But some of the problem was coaching.

As I’ve mentioned before, I get paid about a million dollars less than Bruce Weber for my basketball wisdom. And now I’ll tell you what he does wrong. Weber should have recognized that McCamey’s shot was off on Saturday. It’s hard to believe Weber was trying to instill confidence when he sent McCamey to the line after MSU coach Tom Izzo got Teed up in the first half. We know Weber to be a challenger, a doubter. Mike Davis should have shot the T.

That’s nitpicking. The other bit of management, or mismanagement, has been bugging me for a while. At the end of the game, Weber blew a gasket at Davis. Davis had thrown his towel on the floor, in disgust. You’d think Weber might be pleased that Davis showed some emotion. But frankly, Davis cannot win with Weber. Their personalities mismatch. I hope Weber doesn’t fuck this up, because we need Davis to stick around. It’s his coolness, his aloofness which seems to aggravate Weber to no end. It’s his coolness, his aloofness which allows him to sink shots effortlessly. Davis doesn’t get riled up. So let him be mellow, to the tune of 15 and 8.

It always bugs me when coaches expect players to fit one particular personality mold. If it’s soldier and drill sergeant, fine.

Another small piece of bad news from East Lansing, I think, was Alex Legion’s performance. Yes, he led the team in scoring. But he continues to shoot poorly, and to take bad shots. I like his aggressiveness on the boards, and I think he’ll get better all around. But if he could resist taking awful shots, his percentage would go up dramatically, without an “adjustment” period.

The great news from East Lansing was not really news. Calvin Brock is good. But you know what? He’s always been good.

Each person entering the Assembly Hall tonight will be given a miniature American flag to commemorate the inauguration of President Obama. Fans will be asked to wave the flags in the moments leading up to and including tipoff.

My prediction:

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