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Ologies – the study of “stuff”

Every profession needs a name and in science that means an -ology ending. Even my softball team is in on it — we’re the Softballogists. A quick Google search on “list of ologies” will give you a few minutes of distraction at work before the weekend, when you can throw out an “-ology” factoid or two over cocktails.

As humans, we like to label things. Scientists are especially fond putting labels on things. So we label what types of things we study too. From TV and our general lives we know about criminology (think Bones), and everyone going through puberty learns about dermatology. Those of us who trip over stuff all the time have seen a radiologist at least once to X-ray a limb, and anyone over fifty has probably seen a proctologist (or should have). Our lives are surrounded by –ologies. These are ten -ologies you can try to fit into a conversation this weekend:

10. Phytology is the study of plants. As someone who studies plants I felt obligated to include this one.

9. Agniology is the study of human ignorance. I was completely ignorant to the existence of this term until I researched -ologies for this article.

8. Andrology — a fancy way of saying that the scientist in question studies male impotence. Maybe andrologists should collaborate with phallologists.

7. Deltiology. For some reason there is a word for people who study postcards. I have no idea why in the world someone would study postcards.

6. Emetology is the study of vomiting. Mix this with ecclesiology, bibliology, demonology, diabology, eschatology, pisteology, theology, and omenology. You’ll then have the movie The Exorcist.

5. Cryptozoologists study mythical creatures. These people could also classify themselves as draconologists.

4. Latrinology is the study of what people write on public restroom stall walls.

3. Vulcanography is not the study of Vulcans, but rather the study of volcanoes. Not to be confused with vulvology.

2. Pogonology sounds like the study of pogo sticks (remember pogo balls?), but is actually the study of beards.

1. Scatology — the study of poop. All scientists study shit so this is my #1!

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