As Year of the Park continues, we will be documenting every park in Champaign, Urbana, and Savoy, Champaign County Forest Preserves, along with other odds and ends between July 2020 and more like August or September 2021. You can see what has been covered thus far by clicking here. If you have suggestions or ideas or feedback, feel free to contact us at [email protected]

NAME

Turnberry Ridge Park 

LOCATION

910 Cobblefield Rd., Champaign


HISTORY AND FEATURES

Turnberry Ridge Park is another fairly beige and normal park space in west Champaign that is good for those that live around it to congregate to shoot some hoops, let the kids run around, and perhaps even buy some dank buds the local Thai stick dealer. Still cheaper than Sunnyside or NuEra.

There's a Four Square court, which is truly an underloved game, honestly. Used to rip it up in Four Square at Yankee Ridge. Even a small dude like me could hang because it's not about power, it's about outwitting your opponent. Good on CPD for including that here. 

Found this video of the World Championship of Four Square on YouTube: 

Are you kidding me? Did you watch? These dudes are the best players out there? I would beat this shit out of these people with one hand tied behind my back. At least, I could have when I was nine years old. No talent ass clowns. Put me in. 

Whatever. Four Square rules. 

The playground is solid. Here are some bats embedded into the playground structure. I thought it was weird, but interesting. 

Engraved bats embedded into playground equipment Photo by Maddie Rice. 

Anyhow, this park is 6.1 acres and was founded in 1978. At that time, this tract of land was surrounded by nothing, so it is a damn good thing we had Leo Bian just handing out land like it were Bubble Yum.

Leo! 

Boy this Leo Bian character sure was into the idea of making sure the Champaign Park District had land to build parks! I wrote about Bian Park last November just a few days after the country elected Joseph R. Biden to be the President of the United States, which was challenged by a bunch of dipshits. Joe Biden won the election. Not by much! Just like 2016.

Had I known more about Bian's connection to Donald Trump, I would have told you about it, but I didn't, so I am sorry. I apologize. 

Look, I am sorry. God! Aren't you hearing me? I said sorry! I didn't realize that I could have folded one thing into another and made it into a broader, and more comprehensive rundown at such a momentous political moment. I feel like my apology is sound. I apologized incorrectly? Sheesh. I feel like I have accepted the fact that I could have done better and I have acknowledged that. Please. Show some grace. 

a walking path in Turnberry Ridge Park Photo by Maddie Rice. 

ASSESSMENT

Turnberry Ridge Park is a deeply and remarkably normal place to spend time, with almost nothing about it that would make a person like you or a person like me say something like, "Oh baby, we gotta find our way to Turnberry Ridge Park! It's amazing!" In fact, no one has ever used the word "amazing" and the words "Turnberry" in the same sentence except for people who golf at Trump Turnberry in Scotland.

Yes, that is right, it appears as though this park was named after Turnberry Golf Course Field in Scotland. Granted, it was named that before Trump took over the property with Russian money that was siphoned through the Mormon church, and slushed out with Estonian gangster crypto investment by way of real estate holdings in Mongolia, but still... as it stands, there is a park in Champaign that shares a name with a Trump golf course.

Awesome. 

I am mostly upset that I wasn't able to put it all together then because I would have enjoyed writing something about Donald "Jipple" Trump in this series. But it didn't work out that way. 

Anyhow, this is a normal park for a perfectly normal and decent neighborhood in west Champaign. That is the best thing I can say about it. It will not rank high on Worst to First. 

Top image by Maddie Rice.