Smile Politely

Who is Caroline?

William: For Valentine’s Day, songs named after women in alphabetic order. Are all songs about women love songs and tributes, as in the songs of the Beatles: “Michelle,” “Julia,” “Lovely Rita,” “Lucy in the Sky …”?

Cristy: Oh, I don’t think “Polythene Pam” is. Is it?

W: Oh no. It seems to be a little transgendered.

C: Right.

W: And why are there so many songs about … go ahead.

C: I was going to say, in rock and roll, there must be a certain woman named …

W: Black Betty?

C: There are a lot of songs about Betty, too — a lot. But there seems to be the most of, and I almost never meet someone with this name …

W: What’s that?

C: Caroline. There are so many rock and roll songs about Caroline. Who is Caroline?

W: I don’t know.

C: It’s not like now there are tons of songs called Britney.

W: Or Mackenzie.

C: Or Paris.

W: Or Parker.

C: Or Taylor.

W: Or Madison.

C: It’s Caroline.

W: What’s up with that?

(Medley of songs featuring Caroline)

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