Smile Politely

Local protesters stake out territory on wrong side of history, eat chicken

Yesterday, First Amendment champions from all over the county converged upon the Illini Union to show their support for chicken purveyors Chick-fil-A, a company which has been both praised and maligned for its COO, Dan Cathy’s stance on marriage equality. Breaking from the proud tradition of their predecessors, protestors chose not to hoist signs deriding progressive social change, instead opting to lift a delicious chicken sandwich to their lips, allowing only a bit of the concupiscent mayonnaise smeared upon the sandwich to drip down their chins before biting through the toasted poppy seed bun and into a perfectly fried chicken patty in what many see as one of the more successful anti-progress protests of our nation’s history. 

It should be noted, however, that some of those who participated in yesterday’s event feel that their support of the fried chicken giant is in service, not only of the company’s right to say what it will about people who don’t fit the arbitrary set of social norms that its corporate officers personally ascribe to, but also of helping the gays see the err of their ways.

From Julie Wurth’s News-Gazette article on the subject:

Gail Crowder of Oakwood, who brought her Bible-study group, said she doesn’t believe in gay marriage, adding, “We all have sins, and their sin is no worse than mine.”

Crowder did not go on to elaborate upon what her sin was.

Others in the crowd were unaware of their meal’s political ramifications, and simply sought free food:

“We’re just here to eat,” Kenisha Walker, standing in line with fellow UI senior Whitney White. She at first thought the restaurant was giving away free food.

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