A Tale of Two Cookies
Greetings, Loyal Reader. I must extend my humble apologies to you for failing to complete a column for last Thursday. I know that you waited patiently at first, calmly refreshing the page every few minutes. …
The Campus Wit
One Can Learn Much From Greek Barcrawl T-Shirts
Good day, Worthy Reader. Despite my best efforts to deceive myself into thinking otherwise, I do actually attend the University of Illinois, and one of the aspects of the university that has most interested me …
All Ye Shall Rejoice for The ‘New’ Great Depression
Pleasant returns, Worried Reader. As I mentioned last week, the economic state of the world is in shambles. Many people are frightened for the future of their cash, capital, and quarters. Some people are even …
The Campus Wit Guide to Saving Money
Good day, prodigal reader. Times are tough. Money is sparse, and the economy has taken more blows than Parson Yorick. I feel the strain myself. I am a jobless scholar with limited funds. I have …
The Home of the Restaurant Is Where the Home Is: In the Restaurant
After a three week journey up my own bunghole, I have returned, O Great Gouty Reader, a mite dirtier and not a bit wiser. When I finally arrived at Isolation Manor after many hours of …
A Sentimental Journey Through Champaign-Urbana Vol. 3
We now resume with the final installment of The Campus Wit’s tale of Parson Yorick and his travels through the UIUC campus town. …. and his eloquence was unsurpassed. I will miss the venerable Parson …
A Sentimental Journey Through Champaign and Urbana: Volume 2
Oh My! I did not see you there Noble Reader. Pardon me. Let me see. I am truly quite apologetic for my lack of preparation. I was just preparing my tax return (best to get …
A Sentimental Journey Through Champaign and Urbana: Volume 1
Champaign-Urbana is a place of many exciting events and affairs. Most of these notable happenings are reported on by the local fourth estate. However, to my great surprise, one of the most sensational and important …
Destroy Your Internet
Make haste, Valiant Readers! Ready your armour and swords. Join me in my battle against the greatest foe currently facing mankind. A foe capable of making chartered accounts shit their pants right in front of …
Campus Wit Returns: Quad Day For Buffoons Lacking in Moral Fiber
Happy Reunion, Devoted Readers. Despite challenges to my honor and name, I have returned and persist as your devoted Campus Wit. After a summer filled with tarry and talk, another school year looms. Books are …