Smile Politely

I have never been to a Golden Corral

Is Golden Corral good? 

Tom Kacich confirms that it’s opening on Anthony Drive, eerily close to the old Ryan’s Steakhouse. 

I’ve never been to one, because I don’t tend to eat at boo-fays, but let me tell you, based on my Facebook feed, it’s like the heavens parted and Jesus Christ and Muhammad and Buddha are leaping frogging each other all the way down to all you can eat popcorn shrimp or some shit. 

Is it good? Or is America just kind of the worst? 

Because it looks goddamned disgusting. Like, seriously, look at this garbage: 

NOTE: I want to make it clear that there are “low priced” and “fast casual” and “otherwise shitty” food items that I think are absolutely delicious. Popeye’s Chicken? Rules. Spicy Chicken Fillet from Wendy’s? Done deal. Double Cheese from Steak-n-Shake, wrapped to go, and all melty and gooey? Oh my lord, please yes. 

That said, this food looks like dog shit. Maybe I am wrong, but the color of those green beans alone makes me want to die. 

Updated 5:19 p.m.: I also absolutely love the biscuits and gravy at Cracker Barrel. Adore is too mild a word. I have a love affair with them. Sawmill gravy all day.

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