Smile Politely

A Dog’s Eye View of the AL Central

I’m taking a break from in-depth analysis this week and checking out the parallels between the canine and Central worlds to reveal some shocking similarities. Some of these aren’t so much physical resemblances as compatible personalities, so bear with me, and I hope you enjoy.

Chinese Crested Dog and A.J. Pierzynski (Catcher, Chicago White Sox)

Since his ill-advised dye job a couple of weeks ago, A.J. has looked even more obnoxious. According to Wikipedia, Chinese Crested males “can become slightly aggressive as they age.” A.J. has been slightly aggressive since he passed age seven, as Miguel Olivo of the Royals can attest. I’d love to link to video of the “fight,” but MLB has shut down all of the YouTube links for copyright claims.

Shih Tzu and Grady Sizemore (Outfielder, Cleveland Indians)

Grady just wants to feel pretty, and this Shih Tzu is cut from the same cloth. Maybe they could get a pedicure together.

Miniature Pinscher and Alexei Ramirez (Second Base, White Sox)

Even the pictures are skinny. Alexei has quickly made a name for himself on the South Side since defecting from Cuba last winter. Now maybe he can let loose and eat something.

Afghan Hound and Magglio Ordonez (Outfield, Detroit Tigers)

Maggs has the longest-running jheri curl in the bigs, and the Afghan Hound would rather tease its tresses out, but they’re cool with each other.

Saint Bernard and Jim Thome (DH, White Sox)

Here comes Thome to the rescue! That doesn’t happen as often as it did in his days with the Indians, but he’s still capable of coming through in the clutch.

Bulldog and Ron Gardenhire (Manager, Minnesota Twins)

Gardy looks like he might be the type of guy who would own a bulldog, as well as a double-wide, and he brings bulldog-like tenacity to his team.

Labrador Retriever and Joe Mauer (Catcher, Twins)

They’re both blandly agreeable and reliable, and they both have big noses. Both are big hits with the ladies.

Bassett Hound and Luke Hochevar (Pitcher, Kansas City Royals)

It’s the ears.

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