Smile Politely

Lace up: Race Day is here!

BannerWe are just a few days away from the Illinois Marathon, when thousands of runners will take to the streets of Champaign and Urbana in one grueling physical challenge. As it may be your first time running a marathon, there are things you should look for to make the most of your marathoning experience.

 

Bunny ears1. Crazy people in crazy costumes — There is something to be said for a running Elvis or a dude in an Abe Lincoln costume. They willingly sacrifice themselves on the road for your entertainment. Runners, by their very nature, are a unique breed. Tolerant of almost infinite amounts of physical suffering of their own doing, they have a way of poking fun at themselves and everyone else by donning bunny ears or cow outfits. What characters will you see this year?

2. BYOB — It’s true; there is something extra in those water bottles you see runners strapping to themselves as they line up for a long race like the marathon. You will see people with camel packs, fuel belts, or hand bottles. Some will contain water, Gatorade, or coffee, and still others will have their own “special” brew.

3. Anything but water — By mile 20, though, you will be begging for anything to drink that is not water or Gatorade. That is why beer is popular as post-race refreshments. After sucking down hours of the same thing, you will find yourself craving soda, beer or a Custard Cup malt… anything to give your taste buds something to get excited about.

4. GU — At miles 9.5, 15 and 21, GU Energy Gel will be available to give you a boost. If you have not tried them before, race day is not the time to start. As with anything related to running (shoes, fancy tech shirts, etc), do not try something new on race day. Train with it beforehand to see how your body reacts. This is especially true for food. Otherwise, you may find yourself making more than one pit stop along the route, setting yourself up for a bad running experience.

5. Corrals — If this is your first time running a long distance race, recognize your position in the pack. Can you really run a 2:30 marathon? Do you really belong in front of the 4:00 finishers? If you have not already done so, estimate your finishing time and place yourself appropriately. Your fellow runners want you to do well, but we also want you to get out of our way when we come barreling by you because you have chosen an unrealistic time. Place yourself accordingly.

6. Corrals redux — Don’t be one of “those” guys who chooses a pace that is too slow and then flies past everyone else because you need to catch up to runners who more closely match your pace. Sure, it makes you feel better to pass people, but it is just as annoying to other, slower, runners as # 5 above is to faster ones.

7. iPods — I am anti-pods when it comes to running. People get so focused on the music they have tailored for the race that they miss out on the people cheering them on. Imagine running downtown Urbana with hundreds, maybe thousands, of people cheering you on, and all you hear is Steven Tyler singing “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing.” Sorry bud, you just did.

Runners8. Cranky drivers — Inevitably, people live in a cocoon of their own spinning. Thousands of runners are coming to town and streets will be closed; yet, somehow people miss that the race will run right through their neighborhood. My suggestion, tell your friends to get their shopping done on Friday night or wait until after the race. Better yet, tell them to come out and cheer on not only you, but the thousands of out-of-towners who are bringing millions of dollars in tax revenues to your community. See that pothole? The marathon just paid to fix it.

Bloody nipples9. Grown men crying: Bloody nipples — I know that men tend to forget they have nipples. They are easy to miss. After 26.2 miles, though, you will remember you have them in a bad way. I have been to countless races where guys limp to the finish line with their nipples hemorrhaging. The solution is simple: band-aids. Men, protect your nips, and your ego, by wearing nip guards and not a bloody t-shirt.

10. Grown men crying redux — It is true; men cry. They do when they finish a marathon. You may too, no matter your gender. Every runner chooses to put him or herself through a marathon for uniquely personal reasons. I ran one because I wanted to check something off that list of things to do in life, like visiting Macchu Pichu or writing a novel. It’s personal. For some, it is spiritual. Reaching that finish line is an accomplishment, no matter the finishing time. Let those tears flow!

Run well on Saturday!

Race Well

 

More Articles