Opinion

April proves to be an archaic month — reveries of yesteryear and plans for National Record Store Day help Kathy cope with life's chaos.

Mr. Coulter has a birthday and considers some fun new options for the garage. Neither of these appear to be constructive.

Smoked meat, tattoos, and scare tactics — Kathy continues to paint a delicate picture of femininity.

Mr. Coulter starts his week off by going to a rap show. He really enjoyed it and may possibly want to become a pirate now.

Will Leitch, founder of Deadspin and an alumnus of UIUC, remembers a relationship with Roger Ebert that was both elating and humbling.

Roger Ebert must have been one of the least full-of-shit human beings ever to wear the crown of “critic.”

“Roger embodied the American dream.”

Roger may have left us, but the internet is forever.

Lisa Cerezo shares the influence that Ebert had on her own film criticism.

Today’s issue is devoted to the memory of Roger Ebert (1942–2013).

Kathy lets nothing (her children included) compromise her style, as she exudes grace under pressure all over North Prospect.  

Baseball is back and Coulter couldn't be more excited … or stupid.

This week, Kathy continues to make improvements to her basement, and she takes a close look at the cost-benefit relationship the resurrection brings.

Mr. Coulter talks about all the fun he had in in the snow, and probably mentions getting drunk about a hundred times … so basically another Sporting Life column.

This week, Kathy updates us on her steamy reorganization session, her ability to meet deadlines, and some of her family's quirks.

Coulter talks about his gym and then shows us a mysterious picture of a man with a duck. Why does he have a duck? Coulter's not sure either.

Perseverance and organization are key as Kathy gives us a forward glance into the promises of spring.

Coulter takes a look back on meeting his friend, Eddie … and then makes fun of him all over again. He also briefly bitches about the cardinals, both baseball and papal … and then he bitches about the soda ban. Fun.

The c-word, bacon, and bitch-slapping. It’s all in a day’s work.

Coulter eventually gets around to telling us what he plans to do on May 18. It's not going to be pretty … or maybe even possible.

Kathy ponders why household division of labor is a good thing, and her new car gets a nickname after a run-in with Bambi.

Sweet Baby Jesus, people. Unofficial has been around since I was a kid. What's the deal? When are we going to figure this thing out?

Coulter takes a fun little look at all the great American rock bands, you know, both of them. Actually, there are a few more, but still…

Dirty Decker takes us on a female, non-tinkering, but still completely irreverent and beer-filled tour of the week. 

Coulter talks about his Sunday afternoon, you know, in that weird way he has that's not all that entertaining, but sort of is.

Mr. Coulter takes a look at basketball and has a bunch of extras this week. Try to get through it all if you can.

Finally, at long last, you can meet Mike Coulter in person on Friday and watch him completely blow it on stage.

In this episode, Coulter will dance a waltz after having eaten some sort of dip and washed it down with Ray Lewis' tears.

And while the end wasn't “happy,” he was, indeed, very happy.

Don't touch that radio dial — you wouldn't notice much difference even if you changed the station. But the Chambana airwaves could be offering listeners much more, as you'll see.

In the post-holiday world at the Coulter household, one can't even drink a beer in the garage. That, and a new technique called Dorfing. Yeah, it's like that.

…and there was nary a decent gift in sight.

It's the name of his dog. No progress on the other kind…

No, he doesn't. In fact, he thinks they are terrible and wants the people enjoying themselves to … well, you know…

The Champaign County Sheriff's Department has operated an unmanned aerial vehicle since 2008; to what purpose remains unclear.

Don't book at the Sheraton in Chicago. Ever.

On what? No one, including himself, is just not quite sure.

Republican Mike Frerichs takes on those damn liberals.

New rules for implementing Illinois’ grace period voting could interfere with citizens trying to vote on Tuesday.

As the 2012 presidential race sweeps toward election day, President Obama can remind us what being presidential looks like.

Ladies and gentlemen, Round Two of the contentious and completely aggravating debate between Mike Coulter and arch-nemesis, Matt Talbott.

After all, the man is still drunk from Game 7.

Can personal charity work as social policy? One candidate thinks so, and the other doesn't.

Along with an innocuous ad starring Brad Pitt. This column has it all!

Coulter likes the campaign season, if only because it makes walking the dogs a little more enjoyable.

A Red Bull and a hot local sausage for Coulter; it's almost the weekend.

Perhaps it's simply because he can't understand what he wants to actually say?

And by that he means that he generally wants to curse at you for riding too slow. Except when he is riding. Then it's perfectly fine.